Hey it's Ryo back in the blog!
It's been a month or 2 months since my last post.
First of all I'm very busy because a lot of things in real life need to prepare and done.
Secondly to be honest I'm just kinda lazy to post stuff....
Let's see lately if is about my love story well...
A lot of shit happened past few weeks, something happened and I kinda decided to give up.
And in the end go for the other girl, but still nothing good happened.
Cause in the end every girl I had a crush on already have someone in their mind,
even though is impossible for them but the same goes for me as well.
Kinda got into friend zone with this girl cause she said let just stay as best friend,
and since that I try to not think too much bout this.
I just try my best to treat her as a friend. it's not easy but I just try with all my might.
I know I'm just trying to comfort myself by saying this but no one knows what's gonna happen in the future so just let the time flow natural I suppose.
This year December is kinda different from the past December,
I met a lot of new people and friends, in the end there's two people birthday this month which I'm close with them,
So actually bought two gift for two of them and ordered custom cake from Sam's girlfriend.
It actually cost me a lot to be honest... Both cake and gifts.
Went for karaoke for the first girl which is the one that I had a crush on right now,
It's her 21st birthday so I try to make it very special for her.
Since she like nugget a lot and I mean A LOT, I tried to make a custom cake of actual nugget for her.
From what I saw she like it a lot for both the nugget cake, anime character custom cake with Trafalgar from One Piece since she love this character and a Trafalgar figure for her gift.
For the second girl which I had a crush on previously,
I only know she love cute stuff so a Totoro custom cake and a plushie for her gift. But we went to a buffet style Shabu Shabu so yeah it still quite costly in the end.
I guess this is my first time paying out this much for my entire life.
Then there's Christmas celebration for the office, need to buy a gift which cost more than RM50 for the gift exchange event.
I got myself a plushie while I gave away Atomy's face cleanser...
A fair trade in a sense? Even though I'm not really satisfy but at least the plushie is cute.
What really change about me is that I'm starting to play piano again,
even though I can't tell how long it last this time.
But the main reason for me to start piano again is just to play a Happy Birthday song in a very romantic style for her,
and that is also the time I got friend zoned by her...
But in the end I'm still playing now cause I know I really like the sound of piano.
It always heal and cheers me up whenever I'm down.
Then lately I've been skipping anime...
By skipping I mean I'm really skipping, I don't feel like watching any anime except for some which I really want to follow.
Then I rather use the time to play piano or go for movie, of course, by movie she's around as well.
Just one thing it kinda hurt me is that she's afraid of me,
she doesn't want to sit beside me in the cinema cause... she's afraid of me?
She just said I treat her too good and this cause her to afraid of me...
Then just today a whole lot of work drop to every trainer in my team.
Need to do extra work nowadays compare to last time...
Thanks to the new trainer supervisor from HQ, everyone dislike you man, congratulation!!
All these things really took away my time for anime...
So the next season I'll really filter out those that I don't really want to watch.
So I guess that's all for now,
it's already 1.11 AM right now and I have no idea what I want to write anymore.
I'll stop here for now and until the next time I update.
Even though I really have no idea when will be the next update...
But most probably it's next year we meet cause is 9 days to 2018 and 4 days to my trip to Japan!!
YEAH!!!!
So that's all for now...
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Saturday 23 December 2017
Friday 17 November 2017
My 25th birthday celebration!
Hey it's Ryo here back in the blog.
Yeah it's past my birthday about 10 minutes ago and I do say I will be back by today or yesterday.
So I had a quite wonderful birthday experience this year.
Not to mention is also because the girl I like is celebrating for me,
of course along with other.
But I'm still glad she inside the group.
Let's see....
Okay so yesterday we had me, Tesco crew Sajalie, Ice, Shirley and an ex colleague Rizki with my friend Jeremy and a really special guest Kayla.
I mean SPECIAL GUEST cause it's a year since we last contact.
But to be honest she change quite a lot compare to last time, the way she talk and her topic and such.
Anyhow it's okay cause we can still chat and ask about our life and stuff.
So we went to D' Fortune at Menjarala Kepong.
I'm not eating cause first I'm still in my diet and second, I ate some before I went out.
Everyone was eating either chicken chop, pasta and some drank some beer.
After about 11.30 the cake comes out, and I never expect they bring cake as well tbh.
I'm really happy and grateful from the bottom of my heart.
So I'm gonna say thanks again here even though none of you will actually read my shit.
But I felt bad as well in the same time cause I neglected all of the Tesco crew.
I mean yeah I never seen Kayla for a year at least so we have quite a lot of thing to talk bout,
but neglecting them and what worst the girl I like, I felt super bad...
Even though in the end she laugh a lot and I'm really glad for that...
Nothing happen today even though is exactly 16 but I had enough fun yesterday so who cares right?
I mean there're people who willing to celebrate for you is more than enough.
And here I really wanna say thanks to Sajalie again as well.
Cause he create a chance for me to go out with her,
even though I just bring her to Aeon Rawang to get some gift for her friend,
and what worst is during working hour...
but I believe this is a chance for me to raise her affection towards me.
I don't know how well or bad it'll turn out as but wish me luck guys!
I'll try not to waste this opportunity!
And right now both Tesco crew know that I like her so yeah,
I can only say I'll try my best and well... let God do His thing as well...
No matter what the outcome is, I just have to accept it and hope even she reject me in the future,
we can still be friends.
Okay I guess I just have to stop here...
I try to come back by Saturday to post about the outcome of the outing with her.
I really hope nothing bad will happen that day...
or I should say this plan can still be carry out cause it's her off day tomorrow,
she can just like ask her mum or dad to bring her out anytime if she wanted to..
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Yeah it's past my birthday about 10 minutes ago and I do say I will be back by today or yesterday.
So I had a quite wonderful birthday experience this year.
Not to mention is also because the girl I like is celebrating for me,
of course along with other.
But I'm still glad she inside the group.
Let's see....
Okay so yesterday we had me, Tesco crew Sajalie, Ice, Shirley and an ex colleague Rizki with my friend Jeremy and a really special guest Kayla.
I mean SPECIAL GUEST cause it's a year since we last contact.
But to be honest she change quite a lot compare to last time, the way she talk and her topic and such.
Anyhow it's okay cause we can still chat and ask about our life and stuff.
So we went to D' Fortune at Menjarala Kepong.
I'm not eating cause first I'm still in my diet and second, I ate some before I went out.
Everyone was eating either chicken chop, pasta and some drank some beer.
After about 11.30 the cake comes out, and I never expect they bring cake as well tbh.
I'm really happy and grateful from the bottom of my heart.
So I'm gonna say thanks again here even though none of you will actually read my shit.
But I felt bad as well in the same time cause I neglected all of the Tesco crew.
I mean yeah I never seen Kayla for a year at least so we have quite a lot of thing to talk bout,
but neglecting them and what worst the girl I like, I felt super bad...
Even though in the end she laugh a lot and I'm really glad for that...
Nothing happen today even though is exactly 16 but I had enough fun yesterday so who cares right?
I mean there're people who willing to celebrate for you is more than enough.
And here I really wanna say thanks to Sajalie again as well.
Cause he create a chance for me to go out with her,
even though I just bring her to Aeon Rawang to get some gift for her friend,
and what worst is during working hour...
but I believe this is a chance for me to raise her affection towards me.
I don't know how well or bad it'll turn out as but wish me luck guys!
I'll try not to waste this opportunity!
And right now both Tesco crew know that I like her so yeah,
I can only say I'll try my best and well... let God do His thing as well...
No matter what the outcome is, I just have to accept it and hope even she reject me in the future,
we can still be friends.
Okay I guess I just have to stop here...
I try to come back by Saturday to post about the outcome of the outing with her.
I really hope nothing bad will happen that day...
or I should say this plan can still be carry out cause it's her off day tomorrow,
she can just like ask her mum or dad to bring her out anytime if she wanted to..
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Sunday 12 November 2017
11.11 IS A POCKY DAY for me!!
Hey sup Ryo is back again,
It's 11.11 today in Chinese culture they say is 光棍节 (Guang Gun Jie)
It's a day for those who are single because 1111 but to me,
is ポッキーの日 which mean Pocky Day!
Is a Japan culture to celebrate Pocky Day, and I'm following this culture instead of Single Day.
Yeah and is also a big day for OPPO because it's a launching day for F5.
So instead of my usual Saturday routine I went to the shop with the most pre order to help them.
Even though I only help with taking photo and most of the time stand there like a stone..
And to be honest I did nothing other than taking photo cause after the morning session,
taking photo of those who pre order past few days come to collect their phone today,
the crowd, a photo of SR with customer and etc..
Then after that went for lunch, tea time, chit chat and dinner...
Oh I even got myself a birthday gift which is Project Diva X HD for PS4!
I know I don't have much time to play as well but who cares..
Also got a gift from my cousin Simon a Rolex watch, he said he got it from some black market..
and I actually have no idea whether this watch is original or fake but who cares right?
As long as is a watch and is usable that's all I care.
And for my story goes on, I think I again approach too tight.
Well text her a few time and got ignored, even though is normal but it still hurt sometimes..
I mean hey, I'm a human as well and who likes the feeling of gotten ignore right?
I really wanted to ask some advice from other girl but no one I can really ask..
She ignore my text and won't even like whatever I post on social media,
but when I meet her she'll talk to me like as usual..
Yeah I believe most of the people will tell me either she feel bad if she ignore me when I meet her,
or she feel awkward if she ignore me something like that.
Is obviously that she doesn't dislike me as a person but she also couldn't like me as a guy.
She just treat me as a friend.... FRIENDZONED!!!
Sigh.... yeah my love story always ended up like this...
Even though I haven't confess or anything but this is most likely the ending for this chapter..
Same pattern as usual....
Oh well, let's stop there.
Another 5 days to my big day, kinda expecting but not really expecting at the same time.
Most of all what I expect the most is on Wednesday,
where the Tesco crew say they'll celebrate for me,
but is always like when I'm expecting too much things in the end the plan will sink..
So which is why I don't really dare to expect much as well this time,
cause the more I expect the more I'll be sad IF the plan couldn't go well..
So yeah, Happy Advance Birthday to myself first and I'll come back either on Wednesday or Thursday!!
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
It's 11.11 today in Chinese culture they say is 光棍节 (Guang Gun Jie)
It's a day for those who are single because 1111 but to me,
is ポッキーの日 which mean Pocky Day!
Is a Japan culture to celebrate Pocky Day, and I'm following this culture instead of Single Day.
Yeah and is also a big day for OPPO because it's a launching day for F5.
So instead of my usual Saturday routine I went to the shop with the most pre order to help them.
Even though I only help with taking photo and most of the time stand there like a stone..
And to be honest I did nothing other than taking photo cause after the morning session,
taking photo of those who pre order past few days come to collect their phone today,
the crowd, a photo of SR with customer and etc..
Then after that went for lunch, tea time, chit chat and dinner...
Oh I even got myself a birthday gift which is Project Diva X HD for PS4!
I know I don't have much time to play as well but who cares..
Also got a gift from my cousin Simon a Rolex watch, he said he got it from some black market..
and I actually have no idea whether this watch is original or fake but who cares right?
As long as is a watch and is usable that's all I care.
And for my story goes on, I think I again approach too tight.
Well text her a few time and got ignored, even though is normal but it still hurt sometimes..
I mean hey, I'm a human as well and who likes the feeling of gotten ignore right?
I really wanted to ask some advice from other girl but no one I can really ask..
She ignore my text and won't even like whatever I post on social media,
but when I meet her she'll talk to me like as usual..
Yeah I believe most of the people will tell me either she feel bad if she ignore me when I meet her,
or she feel awkward if she ignore me something like that.
Is obviously that she doesn't dislike me as a person but she also couldn't like me as a guy.
She just treat me as a friend.... FRIENDZONED!!!
Sigh.... yeah my love story always ended up like this...
Even though I haven't confess or anything but this is most likely the ending for this chapter..
Same pattern as usual....
Oh well, let's stop there.
Another 5 days to my big day, kinda expecting but not really expecting at the same time.
Most of all what I expect the most is on Wednesday,
where the Tesco crew say they'll celebrate for me,
but is always like when I'm expecting too much things in the end the plan will sink..
So which is why I don't really dare to expect much as well this time,
cause the more I expect the more I'll be sad IF the plan couldn't go well..
So yeah, Happy Advance Birthday to myself first and I'll come back either on Wednesday or Thursday!!
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Monday 6 November 2017
Random diary of 5th Nov
Hey people sup it's Ryo in the house again
This time I'm back for quite fast, 5 days?
While I'm saying most probably the next time I'll be back with some heartbreaking news,
But no, not yet, I actually hope it won't... But no one can tell what the future will hold right?
Yeah F5 pre-order has start and these few days is literally shit for me...
A ton of shit need to deal EVERY SINGLE FxCKING NIGHT!!
I'm not complaining really, just that need to type it with word to release a bit of stress..
While I only need to key 2x information of the customer who pre-order,
I'm super pity of my colleague who need to key 17x information... I mean...
2x took me like 15 minutes? I really can't imagine how much time need to take to key 17x...
At least still 5 more days to go of such days... And I'm having headache for 2 days and even now...
And it's a whole new Monday tomorrow after skipped meeting for almost 1 month...
I just hope tomorrow will be a good day.
While for my story of a little love story of mine,
I'm still trying my best, sometime she reply but still ignore my text most of the time.
I don't know really, what's my chance of success now? 20%? 30%? or 10%?
If is from text she's quite cold but if I see her she doesn't seems that cold to me, I guess?
I guess is just all my imagination huh.
Anyway 10 more days to my big day!
Those girl included my crush said they wanted to celebrate for me and ask what I want to eat?
Or karaoke they said, but I don't know.
I just let them and time to decide cause what I want now might won't be the same by that time..
But I'm really happy that they have this intention.
Well... It's time for me to off again.
I hope the next time I'm here I won't be sad or other negative emotion.
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
This time I'm back for quite fast, 5 days?
While I'm saying most probably the next time I'll be back with some heartbreaking news,
But no, not yet, I actually hope it won't... But no one can tell what the future will hold right?
Yeah F5 pre-order has start and these few days is literally shit for me...
A ton of shit need to deal EVERY SINGLE FxCKING NIGHT!!
I'm not complaining really, just that need to type it with word to release a bit of stress..
While I only need to key 2x information of the customer who pre-order,
I'm super pity of my colleague who need to key 17x information... I mean...
2x took me like 15 minutes? I really can't imagine how much time need to take to key 17x...
At least still 5 more days to go of such days... And I'm having headache for 2 days and even now...
And it's a whole new Monday tomorrow after skipped meeting for almost 1 month...
I just hope tomorrow will be a good day.
While for my story of a little love story of mine,
I'm still trying my best, sometime she reply but still ignore my text most of the time.
I don't know really, what's my chance of success now? 20%? 30%? or 10%?
If is from text she's quite cold but if I see her she doesn't seems that cold to me, I guess?
I guess is just all my imagination huh.
Anyway 10 more days to my big day!
Those girl included my crush said they wanted to celebrate for me and ask what I want to eat?
Or karaoke they said, but I don't know.
I just let them and time to decide cause what I want now might won't be the same by that time..
But I'm really happy that they have this intention.
Well... It's time for me to off again.
I hope the next time I'm here I won't be sad or other negative emotion.
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Wednesday 1 November 2017
Oppo F5 mobilization, I expose myself and 16 days to my birthday!!
It's exactly 10 days since my last post so what's up people?
Is Ryo is the house again here writing his good o days.
A lot of things and event happened these past few days.
First of all, is OPPO F5 Mobilization event yesterday! Had a great time yesterday, really had fun yesterday, but what I didn't expect is I actually fell sick yesterday and not even fully recovered yet now.. Felt so cold right now while I'm writing this post. But still even though is quite busy but I still had a lot of nice time yesterday night, drank quite a lot and now coughing non stop as if I almost cough out blood... One of the SE is resigning so almost as if the event is held for him to give him a farewell party. And what surprise me is I actually confess who I like to my friend inside the car after the event when driving back to Rawang and another friend through WeChat.. I'm so drunk yesterday..
Even though the girl, Ice didn't tell her anything but this topic suddenly pop out to them today, cause Ice told me that she told her that I might be chasing after her... Everything I did is too obvious.. And which is why she choose to ignore my text most of the time and sometime when I offer to buy some food to them she rejected my offer... So yeah.., Obviously she doesn't want to accept my good intention.. Cause as I said in the last post she like another guy which is the same team as me, a trainer.. Even though she doesn't has chance with the guy and neither do I have a chance with her... Even though I didn't confess anything but it turn out to be very awkward when I visit them this evening.. I actually don't know what to say to her and things turn out to be super awkward when Ice ask me why I didn't talk to her when I visit them..
But I actually felt a bit relieve and happy when Ice text me about when she know I'm chasing after her, cause in the text Ice actually feel sad for me when she say "which is why she doesn't reply to my text" and "which is why she doesn't want me to buy food for her" cause for these two phrase she put a sad and cry emoji to it. And which is why I felt happy that someone actually felt sad for my sake.
Yeah after 25 years of being single and still going on, and here I hope that I can get someone I like and experience some love live but well, I guess my time really hasn't come at all yet.. Even though I haven't confess my feeling yet but this feeling of mine will most probably sink down to the bottom of the sea again.. I should put some distance from her for the time being.. And if things got settle down I might try to confess to her and well... Get reject and got myself hurt again..
And it's November which mean my birthday is coming again! Yeah! But I'm kinda too old for this to be honest.. Last year I chose to hide my birthday in my Facebook for some childish reason to see who actually remember my birthday, but it turned out to be just my family member and some very close friend of mine..I'm still happy that time, and I'm really thankful to them.. This year I'll continue to hide and see how many wished I could get when the day come... But of course I hope I could get a good wish from the one I like now haha.. Childish me...
Okay then, I don't know when I'll be posting again but two more days I'll be visiting her again so I just hope things won't get awkward again like today.. Or I won't be able to see her ever again..
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Is Ryo is the house again here writing his good o days.
A lot of things and event happened these past few days.
First of all, is OPPO F5 Mobilization event yesterday! Had a great time yesterday, really had fun yesterday, but what I didn't expect is I actually fell sick yesterday and not even fully recovered yet now.. Felt so cold right now while I'm writing this post. But still even though is quite busy but I still had a lot of nice time yesterday night, drank quite a lot and now coughing non stop as if I almost cough out blood... One of the SE is resigning so almost as if the event is held for him to give him a farewell party. And what surprise me is I actually confess who I like to my friend inside the car after the event when driving back to Rawang and another friend through WeChat.. I'm so drunk yesterday..
Even though the girl, Ice didn't tell her anything but this topic suddenly pop out to them today, cause Ice told me that she told her that I might be chasing after her... Everything I did is too obvious.. And which is why she choose to ignore my text most of the time and sometime when I offer to buy some food to them she rejected my offer... So yeah.., Obviously she doesn't want to accept my good intention.. Cause as I said in the last post she like another guy which is the same team as me, a trainer.. Even though she doesn't has chance with the guy and neither do I have a chance with her... Even though I didn't confess anything but it turn out to be very awkward when I visit them this evening.. I actually don't know what to say to her and things turn out to be super awkward when Ice ask me why I didn't talk to her when I visit them..
But I actually felt a bit relieve and happy when Ice text me about when she know I'm chasing after her, cause in the text Ice actually feel sad for me when she say "which is why she doesn't reply to my text" and "which is why she doesn't want me to buy food for her" cause for these two phrase she put a sad and cry emoji to it. And which is why I felt happy that someone actually felt sad for my sake.
Yeah after 25 years of being single and still going on, and here I hope that I can get someone I like and experience some love live but well, I guess my time really hasn't come at all yet.. Even though I haven't confess my feeling yet but this feeling of mine will most probably sink down to the bottom of the sea again.. I should put some distance from her for the time being.. And if things got settle down I might try to confess to her and well... Get reject and got myself hurt again..
And it's November which mean my birthday is coming again! Yeah! But I'm kinda too old for this to be honest.. Last year I chose to hide my birthday in my Facebook for some childish reason to see who actually remember my birthday, but it turned out to be just my family member and some very close friend of mine..I'm still happy that time, and I'm really thankful to them.. This year I'll continue to hide and see how many wished I could get when the day come... But of course I hope I could get a good wish from the one I like now haha.. Childish me...
Okay then, I don't know when I'll be posting again but two more days I'll be visiting her again so I just hope things won't get awkward again like today.. Or I won't be able to see her ever again..
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
Saturday 21 October 2017
Random diary, fall for someone and waiting to get reject again!
Hey guys is Ryo here back after absent for 2 weeks.
I'd been really busy for the past two weeks because of my work.
Everyday leave office at 10 PM which mean I stayed for more than 12 hour in the office for the past two weeks.
Why? Because a new hot model for OPPO will be release soon and we need to train the SR for them to get prepare.
Even though I'm not the one who gave training but it's still very tiring. Though I'm more pity those who stand in front and give speech because this time only 3 trainers are allow to give training to SR. A lot of us don't understand why but it's the order from above so yeah, can't really do anything. This time our role for those who can't train is just to support.
And since it's hot model is launching and other than those usual Google Form test, we also have to memorize some sales speech given by the above. Everyone HAVE to memorize which is super suck. Of course I'd already memorize, but what really suck is that I have to listen to the same thing over and over again everyday since this Monday. Because only we trainer are only allow to give them marking. Really my mind till now is full of those speech and I have to repeat these cycle for another months...
And what sucks today is after I came back to Rawang about 11 PM just now taking back 3 SR. 1 came by motorcycle and parked at Rawang Walk so I only need to drop him there. Other 2 from Bukit Beruntung sent by their family this morning need me to send them back to Bukit Beruntung...
Damn I'm soooo bored after I know that I need to take them back... Life sucks...
These past two weeks for my off day as usual nothing really special as well. I can't really remember what I did last Wednesday... Oh ya! Sent my mum to send her goods to her friends and spent my evening at Tesco Rawang with SR and the same goes for this week went to find Liang Yi for lunch then also spent my evening at Tesco Rawang with SR buying them dinner.
Why am I so good? I don't really know. Since two weeks ago I actually went to drinks with them after they finish their work which is after 10 PM, I spent quite a lot of time with them lately.
One of the reason is well, trying to hit on a SR AGAIN who work there and of course as usual my chance of success is below 20%. First of all AS USUAL, she has someone in her heart AGAIN THIS PATTERN and this time she's only 17. WOW! Even though the chance for them to be together is not high this time but nevertheless I'm still at disadvantage.
Yeah I know I'm not that good looking while she like good looking guy. But still I enjoy my time spending with them even without her. I can say they are those SR with I'm in really good term with.
Of course I hope one day if I really confess to her and got rejected, we can still stay as good as now.
But I tell myself now! I have to at least slim myself down cause I know I'm fat goddammit!
I'll try to give myself some time this time, not to rush shit.
Absent for two weeks and that's all I wanted to write. And even though no one is reading anyway...
Kinda sad and lonely when I say it myself....
Anyway I'm off for now, hope I could come back some good news for myself but I can most likely predict that the next time I come back I'll be very down and emo while I write some new post.. Sigh...
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
I'd been really busy for the past two weeks because of my work.
Everyday leave office at 10 PM which mean I stayed for more than 12 hour in the office for the past two weeks.
Why? Because a new hot model for OPPO will be release soon and we need to train the SR for them to get prepare.
Even though I'm not the one who gave training but it's still very tiring. Though I'm more pity those who stand in front and give speech because this time only 3 trainers are allow to give training to SR. A lot of us don't understand why but it's the order from above so yeah, can't really do anything. This time our role for those who can't train is just to support.
And since it's hot model is launching and other than those usual Google Form test, we also have to memorize some sales speech given by the above. Everyone HAVE to memorize which is super suck. Of course I'd already memorize, but what really suck is that I have to listen to the same thing over and over again everyday since this Monday. Because only we trainer are only allow to give them marking. Really my mind till now is full of those speech and I have to repeat these cycle for another months...
And what sucks today is after I came back to Rawang about 11 PM just now taking back 3 SR. 1 came by motorcycle and parked at Rawang Walk so I only need to drop him there. Other 2 from Bukit Beruntung sent by their family this morning need me to send them back to Bukit Beruntung...
Damn I'm soooo bored after I know that I need to take them back... Life sucks...
These past two weeks for my off day as usual nothing really special as well. I can't really remember what I did last Wednesday... Oh ya! Sent my mum to send her goods to her friends and spent my evening at Tesco Rawang with SR and the same goes for this week went to find Liang Yi for lunch then also spent my evening at Tesco Rawang with SR buying them dinner.
Why am I so good? I don't really know. Since two weeks ago I actually went to drinks with them after they finish their work which is after 10 PM, I spent quite a lot of time with them lately.
One of the reason is well, trying to hit on a SR AGAIN who work there and of course as usual my chance of success is below 20%. First of all AS USUAL, she has someone in her heart AGAIN THIS PATTERN and this time she's only 17. WOW! Even though the chance for them to be together is not high this time but nevertheless I'm still at disadvantage.
Yeah I know I'm not that good looking while she like good looking guy. But still I enjoy my time spending with them even without her. I can say they are those SR with I'm in really good term with.
Of course I hope one day if I really confess to her and got rejected, we can still stay as good as now.
But I tell myself now! I have to at least slim myself down cause I know I'm fat goddammit!
I'll try to give myself some time this time, not to rush shit.
Absent for two weeks and that's all I wanted to write. And even though no one is reading anyway...
Kinda sad and lonely when I say it myself....
Anyway I'm off for now, hope I could come back some good news for myself but I can most likely predict that the next time I come back I'll be very down and emo while I write some new post.. Sigh...
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Thursday 5 October 2017
I'm not being myself lately....
Hey it's Ryo back for some more stuff to write.
Freaking took sick leave for today cause freaking sprain my neck again.
Hmm... Really what is the cause for this pain of mine I have no idea at all, I don't think is because of my sleep posture is wrong... Welp.. Can't really do anything about this for now.
Lately I've been trying to tackle some girl at my work place, which is "cough cough", a SR. A taboo that I mustn't touch I know, but hmm... I don't know that I actually have feeling for this girl or not. First thing is that she's just 18 this year, while I'm 25. "WOW!!" is what you guys have in your mind right? Yeah cause I'm the same to be honest. But yeah, she finally ignore me today so yeah I guess... It's kinda hurt to be ignored but I guess she figured out that I'm trying to hit on her so she avoid me this phone, I hope it won't be awkward when I see her next time cause no matter how is it, she's my SR. I have to face her even though she's avoiding me., hope things won't get too awkward...
As for my daily life, went for a movie that I actually expected when I first saw it's trailer. 'The Foreigner' by Jackie Chan. I was really expecting a lot from this movie, buuutttt it turned out not that good in the end. I fell asleep twice throughout the whole movie. It's not that bad but just not what I expected at first.
Went to find my grandparents for lunch on my off day, it's mid-autumn festival, and it's past month when I met them. No one knows how long can we see them so really, appreciate it while we still could for now. After that went to mum's friend's house for BBQ session at night, I had a really fun time there, looking at those adult making fun of each other even though they all already had children. Sometime I really think that will I have such chance in another 10-20 years from now? Can still mess with my friend I have now even though everyone have their own family. I'm being to sentimental again.
Really lately I'm just not being myself, keep on taking picture then post to social media, what am I even doing? I'm not that kind of person am I? I used to keep thing to myself, being an anonymous is me right? Why bother posting about shit to social media and trying to attract attention? What am I now an attention seeker? Too many question mark in my head now... What am I even doing.... Sigh, I should refrain myself for being such idiot. I always say that these kinda people are stupid, I can post stuff from time to time but hey get myself a head. BE MYSELF!! Don't go around doing things that not like me anymore!! Yeah I believe that is what I should be doing!!
Alright enough ranting. I should stop here. I should really totally grow up.
I hope that next time I'm back here I know what am I doing. Well then...
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Freaking took sick leave for today cause freaking sprain my neck again.
Hmm... Really what is the cause for this pain of mine I have no idea at all, I don't think is because of my sleep posture is wrong... Welp.. Can't really do anything about this for now.
Lately I've been trying to tackle some girl at my work place, which is "cough cough", a SR. A taboo that I mustn't touch I know, but hmm... I don't know that I actually have feeling for this girl or not. First thing is that she's just 18 this year, while I'm 25. "WOW!!" is what you guys have in your mind right? Yeah cause I'm the same to be honest. But yeah, she finally ignore me today so yeah I guess... It's kinda hurt to be ignored but I guess she figured out that I'm trying to hit on her so she avoid me this phone, I hope it won't be awkward when I see her next time cause no matter how is it, she's my SR. I have to face her even though she's avoiding me., hope things won't get too awkward...
As for my daily life, went for a movie that I actually expected when I first saw it's trailer. 'The Foreigner' by Jackie Chan. I was really expecting a lot from this movie, buuutttt it turned out not that good in the end. I fell asleep twice throughout the whole movie. It's not that bad but just not what I expected at first.
Went to find my grandparents for lunch on my off day, it's mid-autumn festival, and it's past month when I met them. No one knows how long can we see them so really, appreciate it while we still could for now. After that went to mum's friend's house for BBQ session at night, I had a really fun time there, looking at those adult making fun of each other even though they all already had children. Sometime I really think that will I have such chance in another 10-20 years from now? Can still mess with my friend I have now even though everyone have their own family. I'm being to sentimental again.
Really lately I'm just not being myself, keep on taking picture then post to social media, what am I even doing? I'm not that kind of person am I? I used to keep thing to myself, being an anonymous is me right? Why bother posting about shit to social media and trying to attract attention? What am I now an attention seeker? Too many question mark in my head now... What am I even doing.... Sigh, I should refrain myself for being such idiot. I always say that these kinda people are stupid, I can post stuff from time to time but hey get myself a head. BE MYSELF!! Don't go around doing things that not like me anymore!! Yeah I believe that is what I should be doing!!
Alright enough ranting. I should stop here. I should really totally grow up.
I hope that next time I'm back here I know what am I doing. Well then...
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Friday 29 September 2017
Team Building Dinner and some random pile up diary
It's Ryo here back with his stories or bullshit should I say.
It's been two weeks I'm off I think, but suddenly feel like writing it so yeah that's why I'm here now writing about shit again.
Just came back from a team building dinner but with SE and SR this time, unlike always with my own trainer team.
I admit I had a fun time there, a lot of laughter and chit chat and stuff.
After everything sent two SR back home but the journey is kinda quite, cause two of them is not that close so one of it played her phone in the back while the other beside just well, looking at outside?
Was trying to make some atmosphere but I guess I'm really suck at this, in the end the whole journey is very quite and peace.
After I sent one home, the SR in the back only start to talk. Hmm.... I guess I really need to improve my skill of creating some nice atmosphere even though there are people who doesn't know each otehr or not too close in my car.
Other than that yesterday went to KLCC with my mum, sis and mum's friend to find my another sister who work there as a promoter of a Japanese green tea. I must say the tea is superb! of course is very expensive... But manage to meet her boss there which is a Japanese from Kyoto, had a conversation with him in Japanese but wow... It's not easy at all.... I manage to understand that he said but I couldn't really talk well to him. I mean I know he could understand what I'm saying but I know I'm talking very broken Japanese. This I really must improve, at least to a point where I can have a proper conversation with Japanese in the future. After the trip of KLCC went to a Korean Cafe at Sungai Buloh, let my mum tries their coffee there.
Last Wednesday just went to a Bak Kut Teh restaurant which my mum's friend open early in the morning, then watched American Assassin with my mum and sis. Yeah.... Nothing really speacial or worth to mention for last week.
Working life as usual nothing special happen for now, though a lot of rules pop out but really nothing worth to mention anyway. But lately been chatting with one of the SR. Trying to teach this SR English since this SR is not very good but hey, at least this SR is trying very hard to learn and I'm really happy that this SR really giving all her best to learn. But I don't know man... Somehow there's this special feeling toward this SR, but I don't really want to think too much about this first for now. I mean I manage to forget the feeling about her already, nowadays whenever she post thing with her boyfriend I actually smile and felt happy for her. I'm glad that this boyfriend of her really treat her well. And I hope that their relationship can last forever.
Right now I try not to think too much about love feeling, cause it's always those that I like they had someone i their mind already, or someone they like. It's not always my turn. Yeah I know cause this just mean that she's not my chosen one, but I really don't know, I mean for the previous girl is like thunder strike, it comes and goes really fast. Maybe it just mean that I learn from my past and I'm mature in this feeling, felt happy and truly wish for their happiness from the bottom of my heart. But this time she actually is younger than me a lot. So I don't think I'm her Mr Right, which is why I try to seal this feeling of mine AGAIN. Yeah AGAIN!! Hahaha!! Plus she seems to like another guy as well. Welp, can't really help right?
Well I guess is the end of my bullshit here.
I don't know when will be the next time but anyway, don't expect much!
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Saturday 16 September 2017
Is hard to be strict toward others and an outing with SR
Sup people? Ryo is back again with some stuff to write.
It's been like half a month I guess since I stop writing.
A lot of things happen, a lot of misunderstand has been clear up, and I finally put down that feeling of mine toward her hmm...
Can't really remember any huge happening lately just that I know a lot of stuff is happening.
One of it is that is my first time being strict to my SR lately.
One of it I have no idea whether he has the heart to stay in this company or not, since I always ask him stuff he said he forgotten but after 2-3 chance I gave him told him to go back and do some revision but in the end he gave me shit!
One of it keep on forgetting about stuff. After giving him some lesson he could remember, then after some time I teach him other stuff and once he remember the stuff I teach him recently, he forgot about the stuff that I teach him last time.
Some of them keep on taking leave or sick leave too frequent and I have no choice but start to set a lot of rules and punishment. Because among one of it actually manage to buy those sick certificate and take a fake sick leave. I heard from a lot of people around her but couldn't manage to find a solid prove to prove this is true.
I never been this strict to anyone and I guess this is my job as a guy who need to manage his underling properly I guess. Sometime to be honest is quite sad when I start to scold them. It's not like I'm saying it with loud voice but I'm actually ARE scolding them in a sense and when I did that they couldn't say anything and the face of them is obviously that they're afraid of me.
I guess this is my last resort because people always say, when they treat us good they couldn't appreciate but when we start to treat them bad they started to regret or sometime blame us. I guess this is how we manage other. There're no 100% perfect or good, in the end those who can withstand will stay and those who couldn't will leave.
As for two days ago which is my day off I actually went out with my SR. Two of the girls invited me to go out with them and I think I might be bored so I invited another boy with me. Went for some arcade session and movie session. What really caught my own surprise is that I actually watch horror movie. Those who know me knows that I WON'T watch horror. But this time is because the girls wanted to watch "IT" while the boys want to watch "Hitman Bodyguard". In the end I'm worry if I just leave the two girls alone so I have to join them with the other boy. But turn out in the end that the movie is not that scary. But this outing I tell them that they can't let others know because I'm afraid that if the others know they will start to think that I'm being unfair to the others if I didn't take them out next time. Is hard being a trainer who's trying to stay as neutral huh.
I guess this is it for this post.
I couldn't think of anything else to write nor share.
Until next time then I guess.
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Monday 28 August 2017
Just trying to let out my own pressure in my own way
Yo it's Ryo in the house again.
Man oh man somehow I just feel like typing words again so here I am.
Madoka finally release it's mobage! I'm super excited and furious cause I couldn't manage to draw Madoka for myself but it's fine cause I still can get it in the future but who knows suddenly my phone couldn't update anymore! It says my phone is not compatible for this game! Sigh.... My mood went from sky high to ground zero...
Nothing much to update actually but just recently work wise, I'm starting to get close with my own teammate which is good I believe. Who know when the time comes for me to leave I might actually feel heavy and sad. But still, a lot of shit happen. Even though I manage to get close with some of my colleague which I thought impossible in the past, I still have to put on some mask when interacting with other people. I don't know how long my heart can take this frankly speaking, I mean my heart is really tiring but I don't feel like saying out to other. Someone might read my blog but still I really don't feel like speaking out my heart content. I'm sorry for that, cause this is me, most of the time i rather keep it to myself.
One of my teammate which is quite close compare to other called me last two days and say he saw his ex is going to marry and he is very shocked and heartbroken. I'm like wow... I'm not in a very good position as well and suddenly such conversation come to me. I mean even now I still have feeling for her and I'm trying my best to forget bout this feeling. And somehow lately a lot of people from my company come to me and tell me things that they kept inside their heart which of course is some complaint or things they kept in heart. I can only say lately I'm been listening to a lot of such word and I'm getting quite emotion, sad emotion only. I know I'm a good listener but still, I'm not a superhuman so if I take too much such word I think one day I might broke down cause myself is facing quite some problem as well. I'm happy that someone wanted to come to me and tell me their problem, but I can't handle too much at such short time man.
One thing for sure this is not suicide note or anything bad. I just write it out cause I don't want to let other knows, is a type of letting my stress out I believe. For those who read and worry bout me, thank you and don't worry, I'm still strong and alive and I have Jesus with me so I won't do anything stupid really.
Well, done letting my stress out and I felt relieve a bit.
Till the next time and I hope it'll become some normal dairy without such emotional event.
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Man oh man somehow I just feel like typing words again so here I am.
Madoka finally release it's mobage! I'm super excited and furious cause I couldn't manage to draw Madoka for myself but it's fine cause I still can get it in the future but who knows suddenly my phone couldn't update anymore! It says my phone is not compatible for this game! Sigh.... My mood went from sky high to ground zero...
Nothing much to update actually but just recently work wise, I'm starting to get close with my own teammate which is good I believe. Who know when the time comes for me to leave I might actually feel heavy and sad. But still, a lot of shit happen. Even though I manage to get close with some of my colleague which I thought impossible in the past, I still have to put on some mask when interacting with other people. I don't know how long my heart can take this frankly speaking, I mean my heart is really tiring but I don't feel like saying out to other. Someone might read my blog but still I really don't feel like speaking out my heart content. I'm sorry for that, cause this is me, most of the time i rather keep it to myself.
One of my teammate which is quite close compare to other called me last two days and say he saw his ex is going to marry and he is very shocked and heartbroken. I'm like wow... I'm not in a very good position as well and suddenly such conversation come to me. I mean even now I still have feeling for her and I'm trying my best to forget bout this feeling. And somehow lately a lot of people from my company come to me and tell me things that they kept inside their heart which of course is some complaint or things they kept in heart. I can only say lately I'm been listening to a lot of such word and I'm getting quite emotion, sad emotion only. I know I'm a good listener but still, I'm not a superhuman so if I take too much such word I think one day I might broke down cause myself is facing quite some problem as well. I'm happy that someone wanted to come to me and tell me their problem, but I can't handle too much at such short time man.
One thing for sure this is not suicide note or anything bad. I just write it out cause I don't want to let other knows, is a type of letting my stress out I believe. For those who read and worry bout me, thank you and don't worry, I'm still strong and alive and I have Jesus with me so I won't do anything stupid really.
Well, done letting my stress out and I felt relieve a bit.
Till the next time and I hope it'll become some normal dairy without such emotional event.
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Saturday 26 August 2017
Random daily post (AGAIN)
What sup people?
It's Ryo here writing about my daily stuff again!
Let's see what to write now hmm....
My most superb moment this year, day 2 of AMG 2017! Even though I only went for day 2.
This year some of the member couldn't make it cause out of cash, but a new member has join the group. Is me, my cousin and her only in the end. This church member of mine which no one expect she to be a fan of ACG. She was super happy and excited for the whole day, and I'm glad she actually enjoy it. At first I didn't plan to stay for the whole day but who knows D.watts from IOSYS is performing for the closing ceremony! Well obviously I'm gonna stay till the end at this point right?
His performance was very good, his choices of song and such. But no one expect him to play for 2 whole hours! Thanks to someone who actually told him to perform that much haha!! He played a lot of macross song, touhou of course, anisong and some clubbing song. And his choice for ending is Ai wo Oboete masu ka? wow holy! This time I joined with Sam and his friends, really had an amazing time that day. They were Otage-ing with light stick ( aka light stick dance ) I manage to borrow one from his friend and well, otage! Did some crazy stuff cause everyone got so high that time. Really I had a really wonderful time that day. Somehow this year for the touhou matsuri is not as good as previous year but well, nothing much to say anymore about AMG cause I forgot most of the happening.
Oh and I manage to saw Suki with her boyfriend that day, and well... I guess I still have feeling or her but who cares. Even though I still chat with her everyday now but nothing much to talk about it either.
Last two week of Sunday went for a family trip cause my aunt and her family from Vienna came back for summer vacation. Went to Sekinchan with my aunt's family and my mother's friend. Is a very big group that day. First time having conversation with my cousin from Vienna, actually I'm having a bit of hard time to understand her cause her English is still kinda poor, but I hope the next time I'm can understand her better.
Finally can bring Ryu to my place again after half a year. Because since I change to this job I have to work in weekend, which is why I can't bring him here anymore. But since his test finish earlier can he have a week off so why not. On Wednesday went to 1 Utama for arcade while my mum went for movie on her own. Played Taiko. Groove Coaster and Sound Voltex. My skill really has rusted cause I stop for some months already.... I need to improve my skill again to conquer some hard difficulty song.
Work wise hmm... Still not enjoying this work. Even though I;m having some great time sometime with my teammate, I mean we can really laugh and talk cock sometime but still I can't really enjoy the work. Is very relaxing when there's nothing much to do but still... I just can't enjoy it totally. Sometime I have to put on some mask when I met with different people and to be honest it's really tiring. I tell myself have to pull myself out at most by next January!
And I never expect that I expose myself that I fall for Suki I'm like WTF!? Thanks to one of my teammate I actually expose myself my gosh! In the end when going for this month team building gathering with the trainer team I got tease a lot there. It's not a bad thing actually but still is kinda annoying.. Thanks to that from time to time I got tease by them....
And while I'm writing this my head really hurt as fuck even though I slept quite early these past days. I guess I overwork myself huh....
Can't really think of what to write anymore so I guess I should stop here. Even though I have a lot to say but it's really time to stop.
Stay tuned I guess!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
It's Ryo here writing about my daily stuff again!
Let's see what to write now hmm....
My most superb moment this year, day 2 of AMG 2017! Even though I only went for day 2.
This year some of the member couldn't make it cause out of cash, but a new member has join the group. Is me, my cousin and her only in the end. This church member of mine which no one expect she to be a fan of ACG. She was super happy and excited for the whole day, and I'm glad she actually enjoy it. At first I didn't plan to stay for the whole day but who knows D.watts from IOSYS is performing for the closing ceremony! Well obviously I'm gonna stay till the end at this point right?
His performance was very good, his choices of song and such. But no one expect him to play for 2 whole hours! Thanks to someone who actually told him to perform that much haha!! He played a lot of macross song, touhou of course, anisong and some clubbing song. And his choice for ending is Ai wo Oboete masu ka? wow holy! This time I joined with Sam and his friends, really had an amazing time that day. They were Otage-ing with light stick ( aka light stick dance ) I manage to borrow one from his friend and well, otage! Did some crazy stuff cause everyone got so high that time. Really I had a really wonderful time that day. Somehow this year for the touhou matsuri is not as good as previous year but well, nothing much to say anymore about AMG cause I forgot most of the happening.
Oh and I manage to saw Suki with her boyfriend that day, and well... I guess I still have feeling or her but who cares. Even though I still chat with her everyday now but nothing much to talk about it either.
Last two week of Sunday went for a family trip cause my aunt and her family from Vienna came back for summer vacation. Went to Sekinchan with my aunt's family and my mother's friend. Is a very big group that day. First time having conversation with my cousin from Vienna, actually I'm having a bit of hard time to understand her cause her English is still kinda poor, but I hope the next time I'm can understand her better.
Finally can bring Ryu to my place again after half a year. Because since I change to this job I have to work in weekend, which is why I can't bring him here anymore. But since his test finish earlier can he have a week off so why not. On Wednesday went to 1 Utama for arcade while my mum went for movie on her own. Played Taiko. Groove Coaster and Sound Voltex. My skill really has rusted cause I stop for some months already.... I need to improve my skill again to conquer some hard difficulty song.
Work wise hmm... Still not enjoying this work. Even though I;m having some great time sometime with my teammate, I mean we can really laugh and talk cock sometime but still I can't really enjoy the work. Is very relaxing when there's nothing much to do but still... I just can't enjoy it totally. Sometime I have to put on some mask when I met with different people and to be honest it's really tiring. I tell myself have to pull myself out at most by next January!
And I never expect that I expose myself that I fall for Suki I'm like WTF!? Thanks to one of my teammate I actually expose myself my gosh! In the end when going for this month team building gathering with the trainer team I got tease a lot there. It's not a bad thing actually but still is kinda annoying.. Thanks to that from time to time I got tease by them....
And while I'm writing this my head really hurt as fuck even though I slept quite early these past days. I guess I overwork myself huh....
Can't really think of what to write anymore so I guess I should stop here. Even though I have a lot to say but it's really time to stop.
Stay tuned I guess!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Tuesday 8 August 2017
I felt useless sometime....
Yo it's your writer Ryo here!
Why am I even here today...
People always say that when your post got higher the more stress you'll get.
No worries I'm not the one getting these stresses.
My friend who introduce me to OPPO is the one getting these stresses...
I guess night is the time when we can have heart to heart talk most of the time..
Because I'm this type of people and I guess the same goes for others.
Every big company will have politic problem, what's worst now the company I'm in is in war..
War of wining the power, the right of controlling the trainer team.
This is one of the reason my friend is in stress... Teammate that are still not stable, too much bad rumors about my friend..
I'm kinda felt useless myself cause what I can only do is to listen to him...
I can't really help him much even I want to...
What I can do in other hand is to pray for him, I really hope my prayer could at least help him even though is not much...
I'm not whining or complaining really, I'm just felt useless now...
I guess this is life right? Social life, competitive life, reality life...
Since Saturday my heart start to felt very tired and I'm trying to find a way to overcome it...
But then the first Monday without her I really don't like this...
I'm not as sad and down as yesterday but still I need time to get up from this...
I don't know what should I write anymore nor what am I even writing so I guess I stop here for today...
Stay tune...
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Why am I even here today...
People always say that when your post got higher the more stress you'll get.
No worries I'm not the one getting these stresses.
My friend who introduce me to OPPO is the one getting these stresses...
I guess night is the time when we can have heart to heart talk most of the time..
Because I'm this type of people and I guess the same goes for others.
Every big company will have politic problem, what's worst now the company I'm in is in war..
War of wining the power, the right of controlling the trainer team.
This is one of the reason my friend is in stress... Teammate that are still not stable, too much bad rumors about my friend..
I'm kinda felt useless myself cause what I can only do is to listen to him...
I can't really help him much even I want to...
What I can do in other hand is to pray for him, I really hope my prayer could at least help him even though is not much...
I'm not whining or complaining really, I'm just felt useless now...
I guess this is life right? Social life, competitive life, reality life...
Since Saturday my heart start to felt very tired and I'm trying to find a way to overcome it...
But then the first Monday without her I really don't like this...
I'm not as sad and down as yesterday but still I need time to get up from this...
I don't know what should I write anymore nor what am I even writing so I guess I stop here for today...
Stay tune...
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Sunday 6 August 2017
What am I even doing, It's time to move on again I guess
Yo once again is Ryo here!
Hmm....
I really didn't expect someone will read my blog like seriously didn't expect it..
But I guess because he reads it so I can finally meet up with him and have a heart to heart talk..
Anyway... My heart is really tired now... Like I said she have the person she like and they're together now! WOW!! YEAH!!! sigh.... I just found out that when my heart is tired I treat people around me really nice.. Maybe just a way to make myself feel better...
What worse today got asked by my SR (Sale Representative) how many girl I'd been dating through out my life... Right after I get rejected yesterday.. WOOOWWW!!! BURN!!!! Then suddenly the other SR said " I think you're suitable to go for gay, and you're more to *uke" *Since she's a fujoushi, uke means the boy who get fucked by other boy* WOWWWWWW!!! BUUURRRNNNN!!!! Then suddenly she want to compare me with other five colleagues who's the most handsome. I know I;m not good looking, I got rated at fifth place, and she said because I'm good to them so I got fifth, if I'm bad to them I will be the last place... WWWWWWOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!! BBBBBUUUURRRRNNNN!!!! Three arrow pierce through my heart this evening... Wow man... Really... I don't know what am I going through now... I can only say my heart is very very tired now...
Of course I know I'll get tell "don't be so sad and go find another girl" for those who will read my blog... Just that... It's the third girl now and I still couldn't date her.... People might say my time hasn't come yet, she's not meant for you or such... Yeah yeah I get it but still a scar is a scar... It's not that easy to get rid of it.... I couldn't really shed my tear previously at the second girl but this third girl actually make me shed my tear... What's worst I only know her for 3 months and actually start to notice her and chat with her everyday a week before she left OPPO which is after 2 and the half months... I couldn't really understand how do I even fall for her this deep for only 1 week plus? I mean I start to chat with her everyday since 1 weeks ago I think and I fall for her... Confess after a week and got rejected and actually cry for it!? Wow really? Is it because my desire to date a girl is this strong or I just want to date anyone? I don't know really I don't know.... What am I even doing?
In the end just now we're having a conversation a moment ago I tell her shit such as " go live a happy life with that guy, I'll wait for you, I really want to give you happiness with my own hand " And again really? I tell a girl which is dating a guy she likes these shit? Really what am I even thinking!? I know I said this because I really don't want her to get hurt from the bottom of my heart. She suffered a lot from her past, and that guy she's dating now from what I heard from she herself that he fall for her when he's still dating with another girl.. It might be very harsh to say but it does seems like she's the third person who break them... But this is also because of her past, she will just accept the person as long as the person love her and accept her no matter how bad the person is? Really what am I even saying?
In the end I just told her to delete our conversation because this conversation will definitely make that guy angry... Now I can only wish her to get her own happiness even though I couldn't give her one... And really from the bottom of my heart I truly wish that you won't have to suffer anymore... I'll find a way to get out of this shit... I know I can't always be like this... So no worries for those who will read my blog, don't worry about me... I can get up this time! I must get up this time! Be myself and wish the first girl (Karen), the second girl (Irene), and her (Suki) to live happily this time and this is their happiness! Once again I say it here :
I love you, Suki! I really do....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Hmm....
I really didn't expect someone will read my blog like seriously didn't expect it..
But I guess because he reads it so I can finally meet up with him and have a heart to heart talk..
Anyway... My heart is really tired now... Like I said she have the person she like and they're together now! WOW!! YEAH!!! sigh.... I just found out that when my heart is tired I treat people around me really nice.. Maybe just a way to make myself feel better...
What worse today got asked by my SR (Sale Representative) how many girl I'd been dating through out my life... Right after I get rejected yesterday.. WOOOWWW!!! BURN!!!! Then suddenly the other SR said " I think you're suitable to go for gay, and you're more to *uke" *Since she's a fujoushi, uke means the boy who get fucked by other boy* WOWWWWWW!!! BUUURRRNNNN!!!! Then suddenly she want to compare me with other five colleagues who's the most handsome. I know I;m not good looking, I got rated at fifth place, and she said because I'm good to them so I got fifth, if I'm bad to them I will be the last place... WWWWWWOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!! BBBBBUUUURRRRNNNN!!!! Three arrow pierce through my heart this evening... Wow man... Really... I don't know what am I going through now... I can only say my heart is very very tired now...
Of course I know I'll get tell "don't be so sad and go find another girl" for those who will read my blog... Just that... It's the third girl now and I still couldn't date her.... People might say my time hasn't come yet, she's not meant for you or such... Yeah yeah I get it but still a scar is a scar... It's not that easy to get rid of it.... I couldn't really shed my tear previously at the second girl but this third girl actually make me shed my tear... What's worst I only know her for 3 months and actually start to notice her and chat with her everyday a week before she left OPPO which is after 2 and the half months... I couldn't really understand how do I even fall for her this deep for only 1 week plus? I mean I start to chat with her everyday since 1 weeks ago I think and I fall for her... Confess after a week and got rejected and actually cry for it!? Wow really? Is it because my desire to date a girl is this strong or I just want to date anyone? I don't know really I don't know.... What am I even doing?
In the end just now we're having a conversation a moment ago I tell her shit such as " go live a happy life with that guy, I'll wait for you, I really want to give you happiness with my own hand " And again really? I tell a girl which is dating a guy she likes these shit? Really what am I even thinking!? I know I said this because I really don't want her to get hurt from the bottom of my heart. She suffered a lot from her past, and that guy she's dating now from what I heard from she herself that he fall for her when he's still dating with another girl.. It might be very harsh to say but it does seems like she's the third person who break them... But this is also because of her past, she will just accept the person as long as the person love her and accept her no matter how bad the person is? Really what am I even saying?
In the end I just told her to delete our conversation because this conversation will definitely make that guy angry... Now I can only wish her to get her own happiness even though I couldn't give her one... And really from the bottom of my heart I truly wish that you won't have to suffer anymore... I'll find a way to get out of this shit... I know I can't always be like this... So no worries for those who will read my blog, don't worry about me... I can get up this time! I must get up this time! Be myself and wish the first girl (Karen), the second girl (Irene), and her (Suki) to live happily this time and this is their happiness! Once again I say it here :
I love you, Suki! I really do....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Saturday 5 August 2017
I got rejected... again....
Hey it's Ryo here,
I've been writing for three days including today huh?
It's a really rare sight I suppose.
As my title says... Yup... I got rejected again... Third time I suppose... I said it in the last two post I know I'll get rejected but I just never expect to happen THIS fast...
We chat and suddenly I just.. confess... for some reason... Then we started to chat in Japanese then she says a lot of bad stuff about herself and stuff.. I won't say it out what's the bad stuff cause is her privacy. But of course no matter how bad she is I'll accept everything bout her.. But still the main reason is as I said there's other guy reside in her heart... She doesn't want me to waste my time on her...
Those who knows me know that once I fall for other no matter how hard I got reject I will still wait... The same thing happen previously... It happened twice and I still couldn't learn this lesson... I guess the same thing will happen as well this time... Who knows what will happen after given some time... I might forget this feeling, or I get to wait for her... Sigh... Really what am I even doing now.....
It might be some punishment for hurting my first love very very very very bad.... I used about 2 years to really completely forget about her... Even though sometime I will still dream bout her, the past, when we're still studying... I mean we never even been together but our relationship is above friend but couldn't be a couple... Even did stuff which only a couple would do... Those sweet yet bitter memory... What am I even saying now? Somehow it turned into a sad flashback....
I actually used more than a year to chase her last time, got rejected again and again and again and again but I just couldn't give up that time. Even though I always get reject but our action and relationship is really above friends. All the people around us always mistake us as a couple, and she always says NO! That... really hurt.... The only way for me to give up is after she get herself a boyfriend which is now her husband... Another few months to completely forget about her.. I mean of course there stuff happened within this period which I actually posted about it in this blog...
One of my mistake that time I used another girl to make myself to forget bout her... How? I tried to chase after this second love of mine while I still chasing the first love.. In the end I got my punishment so hard that this second love of mine found herself her boyfriend... All these punishment and karma I guess... This might be my reason why I couldn't find myself a person to love till now.. Always get rejected and always the girl I fall for there's others already reside in their heart...
I really don't know what am I even doing now... I'm afraid to fall for someone because it'll always end up this way... Which is why for the past 5 years I've been living a single life... I'm not like the other guys who carve for a girl... Their body.... I just.... want to love someone with all my might and hope that the one I'm in love accept my love....
Really what am I even saying? What am I even doing.... All these bullshit I post now.... I hope the next time when I read this post in the future, I can find myself my other half and laugh like shit and say " Wow! What am I even doing last time? HAHAHA!! " I really hope that day could come...
Well... I should stop whining and hope tomorrow will be a better day... I guess I can say it right here since no one will even want to read my blog... Well yeah since I don't let other read it except for her... Though I don't think she'll read it as well....
I love you , Suki.... I really do... If there's a chance for us to be together I would really cherish you and love you with all my heart... IF... There's a chance....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
I've been writing for three days including today huh?
It's a really rare sight I suppose.
As my title says... Yup... I got rejected again... Third time I suppose... I said it in the last two post I know I'll get rejected but I just never expect to happen THIS fast...
We chat and suddenly I just.. confess... for some reason... Then we started to chat in Japanese then she says a lot of bad stuff about herself and stuff.. I won't say it out what's the bad stuff cause is her privacy. But of course no matter how bad she is I'll accept everything bout her.. But still the main reason is as I said there's other guy reside in her heart... She doesn't want me to waste my time on her...
Those who knows me know that once I fall for other no matter how hard I got reject I will still wait... The same thing happen previously... It happened twice and I still couldn't learn this lesson... I guess the same thing will happen as well this time... Who knows what will happen after given some time... I might forget this feeling, or I get to wait for her... Sigh... Really what am I even doing now.....
It might be some punishment for hurting my first love very very very very bad.... I used about 2 years to really completely forget about her... Even though sometime I will still dream bout her, the past, when we're still studying... I mean we never even been together but our relationship is above friend but couldn't be a couple... Even did stuff which only a couple would do... Those sweet yet bitter memory... What am I even saying now? Somehow it turned into a sad flashback....
I actually used more than a year to chase her last time, got rejected again and again and again and again but I just couldn't give up that time. Even though I always get reject but our action and relationship is really above friends. All the people around us always mistake us as a couple, and she always says NO! That... really hurt.... The only way for me to give up is after she get herself a boyfriend which is now her husband... Another few months to completely forget about her.. I mean of course there stuff happened within this period which I actually posted about it in this blog...
One of my mistake that time I used another girl to make myself to forget bout her... How? I tried to chase after this second love of mine while I still chasing the first love.. In the end I got my punishment so hard that this second love of mine found herself her boyfriend... All these punishment and karma I guess... This might be my reason why I couldn't find myself a person to love till now.. Always get rejected and always the girl I fall for there's others already reside in their heart...
I really don't know what am I even doing now... I'm afraid to fall for someone because it'll always end up this way... Which is why for the past 5 years I've been living a single life... I'm not like the other guys who carve for a girl... Their body.... I just.... want to love someone with all my might and hope that the one I'm in love accept my love....
Really what am I even saying? What am I even doing.... All these bullshit I post now.... I hope the next time when I read this post in the future, I can find myself my other half and laugh like shit and say " Wow! What am I even doing last time? HAHAHA!! " I really hope that day could come...
Well... I should stop whining and hope tomorrow will be a better day... I guess I can say it right here since no one will even want to read my blog... Well yeah since I don't let other read it except for her... Though I don't think she'll read it as well....
I love you , Suki.... I really do... If there's a chance for us to be together I would really cherish you and love you with all my heart... IF... There's a chance....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Friday 4 August 2017
A diary for 4th August ( even though I just want to type )
Yo is Ryo here posting about my day.
Nothing much to post actually but I somehow kinda addicted of typing words..
Well anyway.
Had a sudden visit from the HQ again today, which really gave my team some big tension.
Attended a new SR training hosted by my supervisor AKA my friend who invited me into this OPPO company. Well people know each big company will always have politic stuff happen, people try to monopolize or trying to get even more power to rule other and stuff. Really this all happen in this company not joking. But I guess just doing stuff that I suppose to do won't give me any harm.
One thing really good about this position is I really have a lot of free time when is not peak time for us trainer. Why you ask? Because after the training we eat almost the whole day till we finish our work. But of course when is really busy I have to face my laptop for almost 8-9 hours for doing report and stuff.
I guess she hasn't read my blog yet cause I send her my blog address but she didn't ask or say anything bout it. Oh well. I kinda act too fast by suddenly asking her out for a date, who will thought she get shocked and her answer was " I'll see about it". Is this a rejection? Her kind way of rejecting. Haven't been in love for quite some time so I kinda dense in these kinda stuff nowadays. Well I eventually plan to confess no matter what's the outcome I mean hey! Getting reject AGAIN is one of people youth experience right? Even though this is my third rejection if she really does reject me. Of course I still hope I have a chance in this relationship.
Well is very short this time because is only a diary for today and my main purpose is still typing words from my laptop. Is this my new fetish? Wow a new discovering for myself!
Is time to stop and indulge myself with games! The next update might be next week cause I don't think I have much to write about weekend since I still have to work on the weekend.
Stay tuned and see you guys soon, ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Nothing much to post actually but I somehow kinda addicted of typing words..
Well anyway.
Had a sudden visit from the HQ again today, which really gave my team some big tension.
Attended a new SR training hosted by my supervisor AKA my friend who invited me into this OPPO company. Well people know each big company will always have politic stuff happen, people try to monopolize or trying to get even more power to rule other and stuff. Really this all happen in this company not joking. But I guess just doing stuff that I suppose to do won't give me any harm.
One thing really good about this position is I really have a lot of free time when is not peak time for us trainer. Why you ask? Because after the training we eat almost the whole day till we finish our work. But of course when is really busy I have to face my laptop for almost 8-9 hours for doing report and stuff.
I guess she hasn't read my blog yet cause I send her my blog address but she didn't ask or say anything bout it. Oh well. I kinda act too fast by suddenly asking her out for a date, who will thought she get shocked and her answer was " I'll see about it". Is this a rejection? Her kind way of rejecting. Haven't been in love for quite some time so I kinda dense in these kinda stuff nowadays. Well I eventually plan to confess no matter what's the outcome I mean hey! Getting reject AGAIN is one of people youth experience right? Even though this is my third rejection if she really does reject me. Of course I still hope I have a chance in this relationship.
Well is very short this time because is only a diary for today and my main purpose is still typing words from my laptop. Is this my new fetish? Wow a new discovering for myself!
Is time to stop and indulge myself with games! The next update might be next week cause I don't think I have much to write about weekend since I still have to work on the weekend.
Stay tuned and see you guys soon, ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
After Years of skipping shit
I really never even expect that I'll come back to write shit again.
Why you ask? Well maybe is because I read someone's life story I guess...
And man oh man after reading my past post I felt stupid to be honest, and I know after some time when I read this post I feel the same as now too..
But whatever man...
It's really been five years since I stop blogging, or just to write a life story of mine.
Just a lot of shit happened in this past five year, can't say my life is as bad as the person blog that I read just now, but.... maybe almost the same? I mean my own dad have affair outside, have a bunch of debt need to clear, even after he clear most of his big debt he still going for gambling. I guess luckily he didn't borrow from loan shark huh. Even though he keep on borrow from me or my sis... Mum also have "best friend" of her own, even though she call the "best friend" darling? Oh well, life is harsh. Even though mine is not a very complete family but I know there are even worst outside, so I really felt blessed.
I don't think I have a lot of shit to write to cover up these past five years I mean, is just some daily plain life. What else had change bout me? Being a even addicted otaku. Hey! I own TWO dakis now! Isn't that enough to call me an otaku!? And two glass cabinet fulls of figures, no more collecting Gundam because it's too troublesome to build it, or lazy to be precise. I guess time really can change a people huh. Change my job after six years working in the same company. Is bored in that company, I have nothing else to learn anymore there. Thanks to my friend he pull me out from the comfort zone of mine and I'm here learning new stuff such as how to manage others and how to create fake data... But I know I won't stay here long because it really doesn't suit me, I mean how this job makes me skip my church for three months.
Speaking of going to church, I become a more faithful servant than the past me, because of one time when my pastor prayed for me, I know the Lord Jesus is a living God, he knew what's inside me, what's my need. That's why from that moment on I will try to go to church every Sunday, unless there are special event such as anime festival. (I'm sorry Jesus...)
Anime festival... Time really change me a lot, from last time how I always exciting to go for those event to not that expecting to go unless there're artist I wanted to see. I mean, is always the same there. I myself not a talkative guy so I can't really make friends there, unlike one of my friend Sam. He can make friends anywhere, even girlfriend now he has. I'm really happy for him, really! Just that... whenever we meet up nowadays whatever he said is "she, she, she..." to be honest it an become quite annoying if you keep on listen to the same thing... I'm sorry Sam for avoiding you nowadays, but I will find you again one day.
And making a new friend, Liang Yi which we are very close I guess, I mean we even bought ticket to Japan for this December! Yay! Japan! Comiket! Akiba! Everything is bout anime and of course my dream country to go! I really admire him, he has a lot of work and life experience even though he's only two years older than me. And he always gives me advice whenever I'm lost sometime. And a friend from Japan which is studying here in Malaysia now, Takaishi Ryutarou. Is all thanks to Sam I know these guys, so I'm kinda felt bad to for boycotting you nowadays. But i will find a solution for this, cause this can't last forever right....
Love story? 25 years of living couldn't even get a girlfriend my gosh. I don't know should I laugh or cry bout this. Sometime I still dream bout her, I'm sure I'd let her go, she even got married and gave birth twice, or thrice from what I heard from others. That's why I just don't understand why I still dream of her sometime. Then fell for Irene again but well.... got rejected again because he heart still have Julian which is her ex boyfriend, even make her mad when she's not a person who will get mad easily. Now fall for my colleague which have just left this company three days ago. I write this blog again is because I read her blog. But somehow her heart fills with another guy, which mean even I confess she will reject me as well I'm sure. Sigh.... how come my love life is always this miserable... Every time I fall for a girl which their heart fills with another guy. I know they are not meant for me, my time has not come yet, but really... when can I get a girlfriend for myself? But I think I will still confess to her one day, I'm ready to get hurt again but hey, at least I confess right? This is youth, is a life we must go through when we're still young! Heartbroken moment. Just that I don't know how much heartbroken moment I still have to experience....
Ahhhhh!!!! What am I even writing or thinking!!?? This post will eventually read by her I think because since she shared her blog to mine, as a fair and equal treatment I should share mine to her too right? Single life is good but sometime when you're single for too long you somehow will want to taste the life of being with the one you love. But still getting a girlfriend is not easy since my family will be facing problem from time to time. I don't know man I can only say I'l try to get that girl heart this time. If I fail I can only say she's not meant for me either...
Whoops, I write too much this time. Since is a post that cover for five years what do you expect? Friends got married and have their own family. Some friend got totally lost contact. Some friend which we used to always hang out together to seldom meet up. This is all life I must say, life that make us grow. And when we look back, is all memories we don't even care if is once sweet or bitter.
Time to stop writing shit I guess. I don't know when will be the next time I post shit again but whatever right. No one will see all this shit except myself and the current girl I like (If she wants to read it of course)
Good night! Ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Why you ask? Well maybe is because I read someone's life story I guess...
And man oh man after reading my past post I felt stupid to be honest, and I know after some time when I read this post I feel the same as now too..
But whatever man...
It's really been five years since I stop blogging, or just to write a life story of mine.
Just a lot of shit happened in this past five year, can't say my life is as bad as the person blog that I read just now, but.... maybe almost the same? I mean my own dad have affair outside, have a bunch of debt need to clear, even after he clear most of his big debt he still going for gambling. I guess luckily he didn't borrow from loan shark huh. Even though he keep on borrow from me or my sis... Mum also have "best friend" of her own, even though she call the "best friend" darling? Oh well, life is harsh. Even though mine is not a very complete family but I know there are even worst outside, so I really felt blessed.
I don't think I have a lot of shit to write to cover up these past five years I mean, is just some daily plain life. What else had change bout me? Being a even addicted otaku. Hey! I own TWO dakis now! Isn't that enough to call me an otaku!? And two glass cabinet fulls of figures, no more collecting Gundam because it's too troublesome to build it, or lazy to be precise. I guess time really can change a people huh. Change my job after six years working in the same company. Is bored in that company, I have nothing else to learn anymore there. Thanks to my friend he pull me out from the comfort zone of mine and I'm here learning new stuff such as how to manage others and how to create fake data... But I know I won't stay here long because it really doesn't suit me, I mean how this job makes me skip my church for three months.
Speaking of going to church, I become a more faithful servant than the past me, because of one time when my pastor prayed for me, I know the Lord Jesus is a living God, he knew what's inside me, what's my need. That's why from that moment on I will try to go to church every Sunday, unless there are special event such as anime festival. (I'm sorry Jesus...)
Anime festival... Time really change me a lot, from last time how I always exciting to go for those event to not that expecting to go unless there're artist I wanted to see. I mean, is always the same there. I myself not a talkative guy so I can't really make friends there, unlike one of my friend Sam. He can make friends anywhere, even girlfriend now he has. I'm really happy for him, really! Just that... whenever we meet up nowadays whatever he said is "she, she, she..." to be honest it an become quite annoying if you keep on listen to the same thing... I'm sorry Sam for avoiding you nowadays, but I will find you again one day.
And making a new friend, Liang Yi which we are very close I guess, I mean we even bought ticket to Japan for this December! Yay! Japan! Comiket! Akiba! Everything is bout anime and of course my dream country to go! I really admire him, he has a lot of work and life experience even though he's only two years older than me. And he always gives me advice whenever I'm lost sometime. And a friend from Japan which is studying here in Malaysia now, Takaishi Ryutarou. Is all thanks to Sam I know these guys, so I'm kinda felt bad to for boycotting you nowadays. But i will find a solution for this, cause this can't last forever right....
Love story? 25 years of living couldn't even get a girlfriend my gosh. I don't know should I laugh or cry bout this. Sometime I still dream bout her, I'm sure I'd let her go, she even got married and gave birth twice, or thrice from what I heard from others. That's why I just don't understand why I still dream of her sometime. Then fell for Irene again but well.... got rejected again because he heart still have Julian which is her ex boyfriend, even make her mad when she's not a person who will get mad easily. Now fall for my colleague which have just left this company three days ago. I write this blog again is because I read her blog. But somehow her heart fills with another guy, which mean even I confess she will reject me as well I'm sure. Sigh.... how come my love life is always this miserable... Every time I fall for a girl which their heart fills with another guy. I know they are not meant for me, my time has not come yet, but really... when can I get a girlfriend for myself? But I think I will still confess to her one day, I'm ready to get hurt again but hey, at least I confess right? This is youth, is a life we must go through when we're still young! Heartbroken moment. Just that I don't know how much heartbroken moment I still have to experience....
Ahhhhh!!!! What am I even writing or thinking!!?? This post will eventually read by her I think because since she shared her blog to mine, as a fair and equal treatment I should share mine to her too right? Single life is good but sometime when you're single for too long you somehow will want to taste the life of being with the one you love. But still getting a girlfriend is not easy since my family will be facing problem from time to time. I don't know man I can only say I'l try to get that girl heart this time. If I fail I can only say she's not meant for me either...
Whoops, I write too much this time. Since is a post that cover for five years what do you expect? Friends got married and have their own family. Some friend got totally lost contact. Some friend which we used to always hang out together to seldom meet up. This is all life I must say, life that make us grow. And when we look back, is all memories we don't even care if is once sweet or bitter.
Time to stop writing shit I guess. I don't know when will be the next time I post shit again but whatever right. No one will see all this shit except myself and the current girl I like (If she wants to read it of course)
Good night! Ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
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