Hey it's Ryo back in the house,
and this time I know it's really been some time since my last post.
Well... One of the reason is I'm busy AND lazy at the same time.
I just don't feel like updating at all, and if I'm back now means I'm kinda down again.
Because from what I read is always negative stuff when I feel like writing.
I don't really wanna update what I did these past weeks or month cause is all the same,
nothing really special with my schedule.
Work, eat then sleep.
On my off day always rot at house then in the evening when to Tesco to see the girl until they finish work.
Yeah I know, lifeless...
The only things that is quite colorful now is whenever I see her.
The thing now is... I'm lost...
When I first started to chat with her through Wechat she reply me always even she don't know what to say in the end.
And I always send her Good morning and nights greet EVERYDAY.
Then one day she told me to stop sending all these things because it's weird.
Obviously she knew I was going after her I believe I mean...
Who will greet you morning and night EVERYDAY right unless that person is interest in you...
That time one of my friend actually advise me to stop being aggressive, I ignore and in the end,
she started to ignore my text...
I actually super regret at the moment but I'm the one at fault.
Since then I start to slow myself down, I stop my greets,
only find her when I have something to talk about.
And I actually playing a Otome Game...
Obviously is just to find some common topic so I could talk to her.
This actually repair the hole that I previously made, but the hardest part is here.
I can't make our distance go closer...
I felt there's a wall now, even though we seems to be closer than before but I reach my limit...
The wall she made is still there and I can't break it at all...
I believe if I could break this wall our relation will get even close but there seems to be no hope now..
Which is why I'm lost right now...
I know I like her, you see I don't wanna use "love" because I'm not there yet.
I wanted to be with her, to touch her, to protect her, to make her look at me but...
It just doesn't work...
She only sees me as her friend, I can't climb over this wall at all...
But the strange part is the one I previously goes for,
we're super close compare to last time, we can talk almost everything right now.
I guess that time she's avoiding me to make me stop and one I stop,
she started to let go her guard and really befriend with me...
But the only I can do is to follow the flow I guess,
if she's mine I believe in the end she'll accept me...
But if in the end she doesn't I just hope I could let go of her and be one of her best friend.
To support her and stuff...
Enough ranting and I'm off again.
I can't even tell when will be my next post cause I just don't feel like it anymore nowadays..
Maybe my next post will be how will we turn out,
as a couple? As bestie? or as stranger....
I don't really want the last option....
Well then, time to go..,
Well then, stay tune people!!
I hope that the world will be always in peace..
