I'm sorry...

It's been a while I haven't update..
Cause many things happen again these days..
Right now..
The most worst thing had happened..
You had abandoned me..
What happen lately I don't wanna talk much bout it..
Cause is all sad thing..
Start from this very moment..
You have left me..
Remember what you said last time?
You told me to don't leave you or abandon you no matter what happen..
Though I have said many wanted to leave you..
But lastly I didn't..
Cause I really really love you..
But now what you did to me?
You abandon me..
Because of some asshole..
I don't understand why..
Remember last time how we live?
You'll always count on me no matter what happen..
I tried my best to give you the greatest life..
I had gave my everything to you..
Time.. Money.. Love..
Sometime I didn't expect you to pay me back anything..
I just want you to don't leave me..
But now..
Everything has gone..
My family all started to dislike you..
Please don't tell me such thing because they are my family of course they'll be at your side..
My big sis actually kinda dislike me too..
But she now started to dislike you..
Because of your action..
You told me that my character have problem..
But how come many of my friends who know me long than you didn't complain before?
I had asked them to tell me truth..
They said no..
Nothing..
But why you and those assholes said that I have problem with my character?
Right now I'm really sad..
Feel like crying again..
Karen..
Can you please forgive me..
Can you please don't abandon me..
Don't leave me please..
I'm so sorry..
I can't lose you in my life right now..
I really need you..
Please..
Forgive me.........

4 in 1 day

Many things happen these days..
Last Friday..
Finally I had celebrate my birthday..
Cake I mean..
That day my family came back from Penang..
But I've to gao dim my dinner myself..
So I went to WTC Cafe with Muk En..
When I reached home that day..
Suddenly..
SURPRISE!!!
Wow!
Suddenly birthday song and cake pop in front of me..
Am soooo touch that time..
Though I didn't speak up..
But I'm actually very happy that night..
And I finally get my new phone that day too..
Samsung Galaxy Ace..
My new phone right now~ :D

Saturday..
Because of the damn stock again..
I have to wait till 7pm!
I waste quite many times that day..
Please don't come any stock this week..
Even ya wanna come..
Come early please!

That night..
Those two monkey came my house overnight..
Who two monkey?
Keng Hon and Shao Mun..
LOL!!
And my sifu came too that night..
So four people slept at my room last Saturday..
My room is very small ya..
So just try to imagine..
Before coming to my house..
We went to McDonald to have supper..
Then because of the motherfucker car have some problem..
We stay for about an hour at my sifu house...
We chat quite many things that day..
All about our future..
I learn things too..

Sunday..
Boring Sunday...
Morning went to church..
After church went lunch (or I should say breakfast) with sifu..
Then go CC for while..
Then went back home to sleep~~ :3
Unfortunately..
I can't..
Cause I'm busy with my new phone that day~ xD

Today?
Just as usual..
Work work work..
Boring day..

Birthday~

Is my birthday today~
So my family left me alone at home to celebrate with myself~
Damn lonely birthday I ever got in my whole life~
Who knows maybe next year will be the same~
So have to get used to it~ :)
And I got the worst birthday treatment from her too..
I'm soooooo mad of it right now!
GODDAMMIT!!!!
Yesterday after 12 I first receive your wish~
I was so happy back there..
Now?
Goddammit!
Fuck shit!
You treat me like shit!
Sigh....
What for complain...
Is useless anyway..
I went to night market today~
Met you at there..
Nothing special..
Because of I disturb you and you smack me..
Is damn pain ya know?
Get my birthday present form Muk En..
A 清补凉 worth RM3~
Thanks man~
Then a mms from Ann~
A very very cute cat message who sing birthday song~
Haha~~
That one seriously are soooo cute~
Thanks too for that~
But what can make me happy is you..
But you treat me like this..
What the bloody fucking hell....
This year...
Is my worst birthday ever...
I shouldn't treat you so good back there..
Cause you don't appreciate at all girl...
I should give up on you...
Really...
I should...
So for my birthday wish this year...
Please make me give up on you...
That's my wish this year...

The sky is hating me....

Today is suck a fucking day!
Johnny haven't come back so I have to stay office the whole day and work..
And I fucking tired right now!
Never mind..
Later on..
When on the way to Segambut..
I was like..
Is a fucking nice day..
But then..
Just before reaching there..
Fuck shit goddammit!!
It rain...
And is bloody heavy rain!!!
I'm all wet and I don't have anything to dry me up..
I'm shivering inside the lorry!!
And there's a little flood over there..
My shoes is wet!
I'm wearing shoes made of plastic..
PLASTIC!!!
Not made of cloth ya know!?
GODDAMMIT!!!
I think I'm gonna sick tomorrow...
Wednesday is my big day..
Please don't let me sick on that day..

Speaking of my big day...
What cha know..
My family is going to Penang ON THAT DAY TOO..
Sigh..
Is a lonely and boring birthday for me..
So that day is just gonna be a normal day for me..
Nothing much to expect anymore...
Damn boring lah...
I'm gonna buy a cup cake and one candle~
I'm gonna sing birthday song to myself~
And that's how I'm gonna celebrate my birthday~ :)
Not a single fucking people will celebrate for me~

Another of my miserable days...

My day was sooo suck!
Work work work!!!
And is very busy for me these two days...
And what you know?
Is bloody Saturday and Sunday!!!
What the fuck man!
Goddammit!!!!
Today...
Early in the morning have to work out already...
What I mean by that?
69 carton of apple has arrive and I have to take those motherfucker apple from lorry to the cold room!!!
Really tired lah...

Death..
No one can control our death and live..
Only God can control..
But we don't know when we gonna die?
No one knows what will happen to us tomorrow..
Maybe I'll die by tomorrow..
Or maybe I'll die after I post this blog..
Who knows..

Yesterday..
Uncle Patrick had passes away..
Is really so shocked and sad hearing that news..
He's a very amazing people man..
He's fun to talk with, play with, joke with...
And what I like the most is when listening to his word..
He always tell me story...
Well..
Me myself very much like to listen to others story..
Their experience or what they know...
道理..
I like to listen to 道理...
Sigh..
Yesterday night me and my family went to his house..
Go visit his wife Aunt Angie..
She's too another amazing person who tell me many 道理..
She's very sad..
We try to cheer her up..
We did..
But still..
She's very sad..
Tonight is his funeral..
Is 8pm at sungai besi there..
But too bad...
I can't go..
Cause I have no car and I have to go to Stephanie wedding dinner..
I'm sorry uncle Pat..

Speaking of Steph wedding..
She's married yesterday too and today's the dinner..
Is at slim river...
Is at his husband place..
Is QUITE boring actually..
Plus the food..
Is not that nice..
At least is eatable...
So I just said congrat lah~
Wish that you two live happily ever after~ :)

Just after I'm back from the dinner..
I went to her house to gave her something..
At first..
I didn't think that I can meet her..
Cause she's out with those of her best friend..
And I just planned to just gave to her mum..
Who knows..
I'm so that LUCKY!
She's with her "best friend"..
And I'm jealous again!
What the fucking bloody hell is happen to me again!!
I told myself not to get angry over these fucking matter!
But I broke my own promise to myself...
GODDAMMIT!!!
So I went insane AGAIN and asked her you going out with him is it..
I really felt that myself are so desperate and miserable goddammit!
Is just a girl..
A very plain and goddamn normal girl!
Why am I so over of her!?
Why and when the fucking hell I became like this!?
DAMN!!!!
I need to find the old me..
Won't gone insane just for a damn normal girl!
Who the hell you think you are for making me gone wild for you!?
GODDAMMIT!!!

Soo...
The big day for form 5 student has finally arrive..
To all those SPM candidate...
Good luck and may the best with you! :)

Today is 11.11.11~ (11Th November 2011)
In chinese we call 光棍节~
Is a day for those who are single to celebrate~
Me of course~ :)
But this year is very very special~
Cause it only occur once in a lifetime~
And many couple take this opportunity to marry~
Cause is really special~
But...
It's nothing for me..
Just a normal day for me..
Work~
And is really boring in the office..
Only done those stupid plastic..

I text you today~
Ask you something~
You did reply me~
But my third message you ignore me AGAIN..
What to do..
Has get used to it..
But still get hurt though..
Is a very special day but I'll get hurt again..
Damn you girl...

Ahh ah..
Tomorrow gonna be a very busy day for me~
Cause stock had arrived today~
So I'm dead meat tomorrow... T^T

SPM has arrive~
Is non of my business though~
Cause is not I'm the one who's talking it~
But still...
Wish those who are taking SPM~
Do your best~
No matter what result you get in the future~
Just know that you have done your best mate~
And today is the final day for those form 5 student~
I'm kinda regret for didn't study properly last time..
And it makes me think back those happy time when I'm still studying....
.......
What had past let it be..
We must always look front not back...
Anyway~
For those who're taking SPM next week~
GAMBATEH!!!
Good luck~ >w<

Open your eye and see it with your heart not naked eye

Another has gone~
Today's is actually very free~
BUT...
Because of the new supermarket B.I.G (Ben Independent Group)
I wasted my time...
I stay there for an hour plus just to change those date of the veggie and fruits..
DAMN!!!
And what you know...
I have to WORK on SUNDAY!!!
Is SUNDAY!!
S.U.N.D.A.Y!!
Arghhhh!!!!
Is my ONLY holiday a week and you just take it from me that easily..
Why I have to work on that day?
Cause of the Empire Subang which got explode last month gonna reopen this Sunday!
And we have to put stock in it..
GODDAMMIT!!!
I've to work 13 days non-stop this two week..

When I came back..
Went night market with my friend Raymond..
When the time he fetch me home..
I tell those unhappy event to him..
Thanks bro~
Feel really peaceful after telling you those fucking event...
And I told my mum too~
Ya..
She's right~
Those friend..
Why bother so much..
If you don't wanna friend with me then I really had no choice..
You just don't know me well..
Bad mouth represent me~
And many of my friends knows me~
You're just some pity girl that been brainwash by some idiot~
Never mind~
I pray to God that He'll  open your eyes someday~
So that you know whose actually right and wrong~ :)
We chat something bout her too..
She's actually just want some friends in deep inside her heart..
I failed last time..
Cause I hurt her many times..
But I'm really sad seeing you like this..
Really..
I don't know what you thinking right now..
But please do understand that the "best friend" you're having right now is not a good person..
You hang out with them for so long and you still don't realize?
Or you just some girl who need friends sooooooo much and these has already blinded you?
I beg that you please open your eyes..
I don't want you to regret one day..
I'm saying this not because of I'm jealous or mad or etc etc..
But because I had seen that idiot through since a long time ago..
And cause I love you..
That makes me even more the will to protect you girl...
I'm not high and mighty..
I'm an imperfect person too..
But I can 100% positive..
I'm seen many thing more than you guys..
So girl..
Really hope that one day you'll know that I'm actually caring for you..

Is time to change from emo to happy~

Wow~
Today such a busy day~
Stay office the whole day and pack pack pack........

ARGHHHH!!!!!
I'm gonna gone insane if every day is the same as today!

Some embarrassing event happen today..

As usual I reach office at 8 something I went to the fatty coffee shop~
(We call fatty cause the boss there is a very fat girl)

I ordered one "lo mai gai" and iced chinese tea..

The other two worker David and Keong both only drink la~

They gave me the money of their drinks..

Then my boss suddenly came and drink too..

The two left their money to me and leave..

Then I gave their money to my boss but mine I didn't give la..

After that I went back to office and work..

When boss came back to and asked..

"Who didn't pay just now?"
DAMN!
I thought my boss would pay for me de cause every time he'll do that..

But he didn't....

IS A DAMN EMBARRASSING DAY FOR ME TODAY!!!

I had a talk with her today..

Finally I tell out my whole feeling..

Luckily she didn't hate me but still take me as friend..

Though we can't be like last time..

Very very best friend..

Right now we're only normal friend..

I'm hate this ending actually..

But..

That's my fault..

She still take me as friend is considered as a mercy from her to me..

So I'm actually very grateful of that.. :)

Thank you very much Karen~

Seriously after some case happen I don't know what's happiness anymore..

I can't feel happiness for months..

Even I laugh during those time is just a fake smile..

But right after I told you everything..

I feel like tomorrow will be a better day~ :)

And I have a feeling my that big day won't be that worst anymore..

I just need to control my emotion and my mouth~

So I'll give some hope till that day then~

Don't get jealous anymore even saw some picture of you with other idiot~
Why angry on some idiot?
Is only idiot~
So not worth it at all~ :)

Wake up Ryo John!
Is time to move forward!

Don't get control by other you!!
YEAH!!!!!!

2nd blog~ childish subject~

Another day has gone..
Firstly I really thought today will be a very busy day for me..
But somehow it become the most easiest Monday to me~
Hope that every Monday can stay like today~

9 more days to my big day~ ^w^
But not too much expectation to that day..
I know it'll be a boring and sad day for me on that day..
I'm well aware of that..

Something happen today..
Looks like my mouth finally cause some big fuss..
Right now one of my friend started to avoid me too..
But never mind..
Used to it...
I know I should really change my way of talking..
Especially my words..
Always hurt other people feeling..
I'll try to change..

Saw your picture taken with some idiot today..
When I saw it really it make me soooooooooooo mad!
Jealousy..
I'm jealous again..
And some other status with the one that chase you..
Again jealous...
Hmm...
Why the fucking hell should I be jealous?
After months I should have pull you out..
But why after meeting you again those goddamn feeling comes back?
I don't know which part of you attract me so much..
And me myself can't understand why I love you so much till I lost control of myself ALWAYS..
I'm well known that we are impossible..
I really should forget you..
But WHY can't I do it?
Goddammit!
These feel I can only keep it deep inside my heart..

Who will wish me and who will not wish me on my big day?
Am looking forward to that day for those who don't wish me~
LOL!!
Silly me~ :3

Start a blog again!!

Hmm...
For some years I didn't blog le..
Don't know what to write lah..
Start from tomorrow the whole week I'll be very very busy..
Cause one of the worker balik kampung dah...
So i need to do his part too..
DAMN!!!
Don't know how to survive the whole week man..
Asshole!
Plus I'm sick right now..
Blur, headache, fever, cough...
Sigh......
Had cough for two weeks plus and still haven't recover from it..
Do I need to go for a doc then?
But I really don't wanna take those med...
Cause those med can't take too much..
Is bad for body...
These days...
Not smooth at all...
Girl that I like has boyfriend le...
Emo me coming to me again...
Think too much again...
Whats worst is...
After yesterday I realize I still like her...
I'm such a playboy...
I like two girl in a same time goddammit!
But...
I like the old one more...
Even till now I know myself that I still like her very much...
And for the one that already has boyfriend I has no more feeling for her...
But I know our relationship is not like last time d..
She has her own friend..
She found her own new life...
She's happy with them more than me..
Though those friends of her is not that good..
But what important is she's happy la..
I know myself well that I shouldn't be like that..
I really do know that..
But I can't control my feeling...
Goddammit!
Yesterday seeing her playing with friends of hers..
Card game...
The one who lose must draw by other at feet using pen...
Childish...
I don't understand..
If you like a person shouldn't you protect her but not to torture her..
One of a boy who's chasing her is like enjoying drawing her feet..
I'm soooooooooo mad bout it!!
You called that like her?
Chasing her?!
You should NOT drew her if you really like her!
I don't have the right to judge him I know..
But please....
You're just a boy who likes to play!!!!
FUCK YOU GODDAMMIT who said you like her!!!!
Don't see her from her outer part...
What's in her inner part...
Why she wanna hang out so much is cause she don't wanna stay at home...
I can't say myself know her well but I hang out with her for quite a time...
So I can sure of myself I know her quite well...
Just live a happy life to the girl I like right now...