Yo it's Ryo in the house again.
Man oh man somehow I just feel like typing words again so here I am.
Madoka finally release it's mobage! I'm super excited and furious cause I couldn't manage to draw Madoka for myself but it's fine cause I still can get it in the future but who knows suddenly my phone couldn't update anymore! It says my phone is not compatible for this game! Sigh.... My mood went from sky high to ground zero...
Nothing much to update actually but just recently work wise, I'm starting to get close with my own teammate which is good I believe. Who know when the time comes for me to leave I might actually feel heavy and sad. But still, a lot of shit happen. Even though I manage to get close with some of my colleague which I thought impossible in the past, I still have to put on some mask when interacting with other people. I don't know how long my heart can take this frankly speaking, I mean my heart is really tiring but I don't feel like saying out to other. Someone might read my blog but still I really don't feel like speaking out my heart content. I'm sorry for that, cause this is me, most of the time i rather keep it to myself.
One of my teammate which is quite close compare to other called me last two days and say he saw his ex is going to marry and he is very shocked and heartbroken. I'm like wow... I'm not in a very good position as well and suddenly such conversation come to me. I mean even now I still have feeling for her and I'm trying my best to forget bout this feeling. And somehow lately a lot of people from my company come to me and tell me things that they kept inside their heart which of course is some complaint or things they kept in heart. I can only say lately I'm been listening to a lot of such word and I'm getting quite emotion, sad emotion only. I know I'm a good listener but still, I'm not a superhuman so if I take too much such word I think one day I might broke down cause myself is facing quite some problem as well. I'm happy that someone wanted to come to me and tell me their problem, but I can't handle too much at such short time man.
One thing for sure this is not suicide note or anything bad. I just write it out cause I don't want to let other knows, is a type of letting my stress out I believe. For those who read and worry bout me, thank you and don't worry, I'm still strong and alive and I have Jesus with me so I won't do anything stupid really.
Well, done letting my stress out and I felt relieve a bit.
Till the next time and I hope it'll become some normal dairy without such emotional event.
Stay tune!!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Monday 28 August 2017
Saturday 26 August 2017
Random daily post (AGAIN)
What sup people?
It's Ryo here writing about my daily stuff again!
Let's see what to write now hmm....
My most superb moment this year, day 2 of AMG 2017! Even though I only went for day 2.
This year some of the member couldn't make it cause out of cash, but a new member has join the group. Is me, my cousin and her only in the end. This church member of mine which no one expect she to be a fan of ACG. She was super happy and excited for the whole day, and I'm glad she actually enjoy it. At first I didn't plan to stay for the whole day but who knows D.watts from IOSYS is performing for the closing ceremony! Well obviously I'm gonna stay till the end at this point right?
His performance was very good, his choices of song and such. But no one expect him to play for 2 whole hours! Thanks to someone who actually told him to perform that much haha!! He played a lot of macross song, touhou of course, anisong and some clubbing song. And his choice for ending is Ai wo Oboete masu ka? wow holy! This time I joined with Sam and his friends, really had an amazing time that day. They were Otage-ing with light stick ( aka light stick dance ) I manage to borrow one from his friend and well, otage! Did some crazy stuff cause everyone got so high that time. Really I had a really wonderful time that day. Somehow this year for the touhou matsuri is not as good as previous year but well, nothing much to say anymore about AMG cause I forgot most of the happening.
Oh and I manage to saw Suki with her boyfriend that day, and well... I guess I still have feeling or her but who cares. Even though I still chat with her everyday now but nothing much to talk about it either.
Last two week of Sunday went for a family trip cause my aunt and her family from Vienna came back for summer vacation. Went to Sekinchan with my aunt's family and my mother's friend. Is a very big group that day. First time having conversation with my cousin from Vienna, actually I'm having a bit of hard time to understand her cause her English is still kinda poor, but I hope the next time I'm can understand her better.
Finally can bring Ryu to my place again after half a year. Because since I change to this job I have to work in weekend, which is why I can't bring him here anymore. But since his test finish earlier can he have a week off so why not. On Wednesday went to 1 Utama for arcade while my mum went for movie on her own. Played Taiko. Groove Coaster and Sound Voltex. My skill really has rusted cause I stop for some months already.... I need to improve my skill again to conquer some hard difficulty song.
Work wise hmm... Still not enjoying this work. Even though I;m having some great time sometime with my teammate, I mean we can really laugh and talk cock sometime but still I can't really enjoy the work. Is very relaxing when there's nothing much to do but still... I just can't enjoy it totally. Sometime I have to put on some mask when I met with different people and to be honest it's really tiring. I tell myself have to pull myself out at most by next January!
And I never expect that I expose myself that I fall for Suki I'm like WTF!? Thanks to one of my teammate I actually expose myself my gosh! In the end when going for this month team building gathering with the trainer team I got tease a lot there. It's not a bad thing actually but still is kinda annoying.. Thanks to that from time to time I got tease by them....
And while I'm writing this my head really hurt as fuck even though I slept quite early these past days. I guess I overwork myself huh....
Can't really think of what to write anymore so I guess I should stop here. Even though I have a lot to say but it's really time to stop.
Stay tuned I guess!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
It's Ryo here writing about my daily stuff again!
Let's see what to write now hmm....
My most superb moment this year, day 2 of AMG 2017! Even though I only went for day 2.
This year some of the member couldn't make it cause out of cash, but a new member has join the group. Is me, my cousin and her only in the end. This church member of mine which no one expect she to be a fan of ACG. She was super happy and excited for the whole day, and I'm glad she actually enjoy it. At first I didn't plan to stay for the whole day but who knows D.watts from IOSYS is performing for the closing ceremony! Well obviously I'm gonna stay till the end at this point right?
His performance was very good, his choices of song and such. But no one expect him to play for 2 whole hours! Thanks to someone who actually told him to perform that much haha!! He played a lot of macross song, touhou of course, anisong and some clubbing song. And his choice for ending is Ai wo Oboete masu ka? wow holy! This time I joined with Sam and his friends, really had an amazing time that day. They were Otage-ing with light stick ( aka light stick dance ) I manage to borrow one from his friend and well, otage! Did some crazy stuff cause everyone got so high that time. Really I had a really wonderful time that day. Somehow this year for the touhou matsuri is not as good as previous year but well, nothing much to say anymore about AMG cause I forgot most of the happening.
Oh and I manage to saw Suki with her boyfriend that day, and well... I guess I still have feeling or her but who cares. Even though I still chat with her everyday now but nothing much to talk about it either.
Last two week of Sunday went for a family trip cause my aunt and her family from Vienna came back for summer vacation. Went to Sekinchan with my aunt's family and my mother's friend. Is a very big group that day. First time having conversation with my cousin from Vienna, actually I'm having a bit of hard time to understand her cause her English is still kinda poor, but I hope the next time I'm can understand her better.
Finally can bring Ryu to my place again after half a year. Because since I change to this job I have to work in weekend, which is why I can't bring him here anymore. But since his test finish earlier can he have a week off so why not. On Wednesday went to 1 Utama for arcade while my mum went for movie on her own. Played Taiko. Groove Coaster and Sound Voltex. My skill really has rusted cause I stop for some months already.... I need to improve my skill again to conquer some hard difficulty song.
Work wise hmm... Still not enjoying this work. Even though I;m having some great time sometime with my teammate, I mean we can really laugh and talk cock sometime but still I can't really enjoy the work. Is very relaxing when there's nothing much to do but still... I just can't enjoy it totally. Sometime I have to put on some mask when I met with different people and to be honest it's really tiring. I tell myself have to pull myself out at most by next January!
And I never expect that I expose myself that I fall for Suki I'm like WTF!? Thanks to one of my teammate I actually expose myself my gosh! In the end when going for this month team building gathering with the trainer team I got tease a lot there. It's not a bad thing actually but still is kinda annoying.. Thanks to that from time to time I got tease by them....
And while I'm writing this my head really hurt as fuck even though I slept quite early these past days. I guess I overwork myself huh....
Can't really think of what to write anymore so I guess I should stop here. Even though I have a lot to say but it's really time to stop.
Stay tuned I guess!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Tuesday 8 August 2017
I felt useless sometime....
Yo it's your writer Ryo here!
Why am I even here today...
People always say that when your post got higher the more stress you'll get.
No worries I'm not the one getting these stresses.
My friend who introduce me to OPPO is the one getting these stresses...
I guess night is the time when we can have heart to heart talk most of the time..
Because I'm this type of people and I guess the same goes for others.
Every big company will have politic problem, what's worst now the company I'm in is in war..
War of wining the power, the right of controlling the trainer team.
This is one of the reason my friend is in stress... Teammate that are still not stable, too much bad rumors about my friend..
I'm kinda felt useless myself cause what I can only do is to listen to him...
I can't really help him much even I want to...
What I can do in other hand is to pray for him, I really hope my prayer could at least help him even though is not much...
I'm not whining or complaining really, I'm just felt useless now...
I guess this is life right? Social life, competitive life, reality life...
Since Saturday my heart start to felt very tired and I'm trying to find a way to overcome it...
But then the first Monday without her I really don't like this...
I'm not as sad and down as yesterday but still I need time to get up from this...
I don't know what should I write anymore nor what am I even writing so I guess I stop here for today...
Stay tune...
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Why am I even here today...
People always say that when your post got higher the more stress you'll get.
No worries I'm not the one getting these stresses.
My friend who introduce me to OPPO is the one getting these stresses...
I guess night is the time when we can have heart to heart talk most of the time..
Because I'm this type of people and I guess the same goes for others.
Every big company will have politic problem, what's worst now the company I'm in is in war..
War of wining the power, the right of controlling the trainer team.
This is one of the reason my friend is in stress... Teammate that are still not stable, too much bad rumors about my friend..
I'm kinda felt useless myself cause what I can only do is to listen to him...
I can't really help him much even I want to...
What I can do in other hand is to pray for him, I really hope my prayer could at least help him even though is not much...
I'm not whining or complaining really, I'm just felt useless now...
I guess this is life right? Social life, competitive life, reality life...
Since Saturday my heart start to felt very tired and I'm trying to find a way to overcome it...
But then the first Monday without her I really don't like this...
I'm not as sad and down as yesterday but still I need time to get up from this...
I don't know what should I write anymore nor what am I even writing so I guess I stop here for today...
Stay tune...
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Sunday 6 August 2017
What am I even doing, It's time to move on again I guess
Yo once again is Ryo here!
Hmm....
I really didn't expect someone will read my blog like seriously didn't expect it..
But I guess because he reads it so I can finally meet up with him and have a heart to heart talk..
Anyway... My heart is really tired now... Like I said she have the person she like and they're together now! WOW!! YEAH!!! sigh.... I just found out that when my heart is tired I treat people around me really nice.. Maybe just a way to make myself feel better...
What worse today got asked by my SR (Sale Representative) how many girl I'd been dating through out my life... Right after I get rejected yesterday.. WOOOWWW!!! BURN!!!! Then suddenly the other SR said " I think you're suitable to go for gay, and you're more to *uke" *Since she's a fujoushi, uke means the boy who get fucked by other boy* WOWWWWWW!!! BUUURRRNNNN!!!! Then suddenly she want to compare me with other five colleagues who's the most handsome. I know I;m not good looking, I got rated at fifth place, and she said because I'm good to them so I got fifth, if I'm bad to them I will be the last place... WWWWWWOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!! BBBBBUUUURRRRNNNN!!!! Three arrow pierce through my heart this evening... Wow man... Really... I don't know what am I going through now... I can only say my heart is very very tired now...
Of course I know I'll get tell "don't be so sad and go find another girl" for those who will read my blog... Just that... It's the third girl now and I still couldn't date her.... People might say my time hasn't come yet, she's not meant for you or such... Yeah yeah I get it but still a scar is a scar... It's not that easy to get rid of it.... I couldn't really shed my tear previously at the second girl but this third girl actually make me shed my tear... What's worst I only know her for 3 months and actually start to notice her and chat with her everyday a week before she left OPPO which is after 2 and the half months... I couldn't really understand how do I even fall for her this deep for only 1 week plus? I mean I start to chat with her everyday since 1 weeks ago I think and I fall for her... Confess after a week and got rejected and actually cry for it!? Wow really? Is it because my desire to date a girl is this strong or I just want to date anyone? I don't know really I don't know.... What am I even doing?
In the end just now we're having a conversation a moment ago I tell her shit such as " go live a happy life with that guy, I'll wait for you, I really want to give you happiness with my own hand " And again really? I tell a girl which is dating a guy she likes these shit? Really what am I even thinking!? I know I said this because I really don't want her to get hurt from the bottom of my heart. She suffered a lot from her past, and that guy she's dating now from what I heard from she herself that he fall for her when he's still dating with another girl.. It might be very harsh to say but it does seems like she's the third person who break them... But this is also because of her past, she will just accept the person as long as the person love her and accept her no matter how bad the person is? Really what am I even saying?
In the end I just told her to delete our conversation because this conversation will definitely make that guy angry... Now I can only wish her to get her own happiness even though I couldn't give her one... And really from the bottom of my heart I truly wish that you won't have to suffer anymore... I'll find a way to get out of this shit... I know I can't always be like this... So no worries for those who will read my blog, don't worry about me... I can get up this time! I must get up this time! Be myself and wish the first girl (Karen), the second girl (Irene), and her (Suki) to live happily this time and this is their happiness! Once again I say it here :
I love you, Suki! I really do....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Hmm....
I really didn't expect someone will read my blog like seriously didn't expect it..
But I guess because he reads it so I can finally meet up with him and have a heart to heart talk..
Anyway... My heart is really tired now... Like I said she have the person she like and they're together now! WOW!! YEAH!!! sigh.... I just found out that when my heart is tired I treat people around me really nice.. Maybe just a way to make myself feel better...
What worse today got asked by my SR (Sale Representative) how many girl I'd been dating through out my life... Right after I get rejected yesterday.. WOOOWWW!!! BURN!!!! Then suddenly the other SR said " I think you're suitable to go for gay, and you're more to *uke" *Since she's a fujoushi, uke means the boy who get fucked by other boy* WOWWWWWW!!! BUUURRRNNNN!!!! Then suddenly she want to compare me with other five colleagues who's the most handsome. I know I;m not good looking, I got rated at fifth place, and she said because I'm good to them so I got fifth, if I'm bad to them I will be the last place... WWWWWWOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!! BBBBBUUUURRRRNNNN!!!! Three arrow pierce through my heart this evening... Wow man... Really... I don't know what am I going through now... I can only say my heart is very very tired now...
Of course I know I'll get tell "don't be so sad and go find another girl" for those who will read my blog... Just that... It's the third girl now and I still couldn't date her.... People might say my time hasn't come yet, she's not meant for you or such... Yeah yeah I get it but still a scar is a scar... It's not that easy to get rid of it.... I couldn't really shed my tear previously at the second girl but this third girl actually make me shed my tear... What's worst I only know her for 3 months and actually start to notice her and chat with her everyday a week before she left OPPO which is after 2 and the half months... I couldn't really understand how do I even fall for her this deep for only 1 week plus? I mean I start to chat with her everyday since 1 weeks ago I think and I fall for her... Confess after a week and got rejected and actually cry for it!? Wow really? Is it because my desire to date a girl is this strong or I just want to date anyone? I don't know really I don't know.... What am I even doing?
In the end just now we're having a conversation a moment ago I tell her shit such as " go live a happy life with that guy, I'll wait for you, I really want to give you happiness with my own hand " And again really? I tell a girl which is dating a guy she likes these shit? Really what am I even thinking!? I know I said this because I really don't want her to get hurt from the bottom of my heart. She suffered a lot from her past, and that guy she's dating now from what I heard from she herself that he fall for her when he's still dating with another girl.. It might be very harsh to say but it does seems like she's the third person who break them... But this is also because of her past, she will just accept the person as long as the person love her and accept her no matter how bad the person is? Really what am I even saying?
In the end I just told her to delete our conversation because this conversation will definitely make that guy angry... Now I can only wish her to get her own happiness even though I couldn't give her one... And really from the bottom of my heart I truly wish that you won't have to suffer anymore... I'll find a way to get out of this shit... I know I can't always be like this... So no worries for those who will read my blog, don't worry about me... I can get up this time! I must get up this time! Be myself and wish the first girl (Karen), the second girl (Irene), and her (Suki) to live happily this time and this is their happiness! Once again I say it here :
I love you, Suki! I really do....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Saturday 5 August 2017
I got rejected... again....
Hey it's Ryo here,
I've been writing for three days including today huh?
It's a really rare sight I suppose.
As my title says... Yup... I got rejected again... Third time I suppose... I said it in the last two post I know I'll get rejected but I just never expect to happen THIS fast...
We chat and suddenly I just.. confess... for some reason... Then we started to chat in Japanese then she says a lot of bad stuff about herself and stuff.. I won't say it out what's the bad stuff cause is her privacy. But of course no matter how bad she is I'll accept everything bout her.. But still the main reason is as I said there's other guy reside in her heart... She doesn't want me to waste my time on her...
Those who knows me know that once I fall for other no matter how hard I got reject I will still wait... The same thing happen previously... It happened twice and I still couldn't learn this lesson... I guess the same thing will happen as well this time... Who knows what will happen after given some time... I might forget this feeling, or I get to wait for her... Sigh... Really what am I even doing now.....
It might be some punishment for hurting my first love very very very very bad.... I used about 2 years to really completely forget about her... Even though sometime I will still dream bout her, the past, when we're still studying... I mean we never even been together but our relationship is above friend but couldn't be a couple... Even did stuff which only a couple would do... Those sweet yet bitter memory... What am I even saying now? Somehow it turned into a sad flashback....
I actually used more than a year to chase her last time, got rejected again and again and again and again but I just couldn't give up that time. Even though I always get reject but our action and relationship is really above friends. All the people around us always mistake us as a couple, and she always says NO! That... really hurt.... The only way for me to give up is after she get herself a boyfriend which is now her husband... Another few months to completely forget about her.. I mean of course there stuff happened within this period which I actually posted about it in this blog...
One of my mistake that time I used another girl to make myself to forget bout her... How? I tried to chase after this second love of mine while I still chasing the first love.. In the end I got my punishment so hard that this second love of mine found herself her boyfriend... All these punishment and karma I guess... This might be my reason why I couldn't find myself a person to love till now.. Always get rejected and always the girl I fall for there's others already reside in their heart...
I really don't know what am I even doing now... I'm afraid to fall for someone because it'll always end up this way... Which is why for the past 5 years I've been living a single life... I'm not like the other guys who carve for a girl... Their body.... I just.... want to love someone with all my might and hope that the one I'm in love accept my love....
Really what am I even saying? What am I even doing.... All these bullshit I post now.... I hope the next time when I read this post in the future, I can find myself my other half and laugh like shit and say " Wow! What am I even doing last time? HAHAHA!! " I really hope that day could come...
Well... I should stop whining and hope tomorrow will be a better day... I guess I can say it right here since no one will even want to read my blog... Well yeah since I don't let other read it except for her... Though I don't think she'll read it as well....
I love you , Suki.... I really do... If there's a chance for us to be together I would really cherish you and love you with all my heart... IF... There's a chance....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
I've been writing for three days including today huh?
It's a really rare sight I suppose.
As my title says... Yup... I got rejected again... Third time I suppose... I said it in the last two post I know I'll get rejected but I just never expect to happen THIS fast...
We chat and suddenly I just.. confess... for some reason... Then we started to chat in Japanese then she says a lot of bad stuff about herself and stuff.. I won't say it out what's the bad stuff cause is her privacy. But of course no matter how bad she is I'll accept everything bout her.. But still the main reason is as I said there's other guy reside in her heart... She doesn't want me to waste my time on her...
Those who knows me know that once I fall for other no matter how hard I got reject I will still wait... The same thing happen previously... It happened twice and I still couldn't learn this lesson... I guess the same thing will happen as well this time... Who knows what will happen after given some time... I might forget this feeling, or I get to wait for her... Sigh... Really what am I even doing now.....
It might be some punishment for hurting my first love very very very very bad.... I used about 2 years to really completely forget about her... Even though sometime I will still dream bout her, the past, when we're still studying... I mean we never even been together but our relationship is above friend but couldn't be a couple... Even did stuff which only a couple would do... Those sweet yet bitter memory... What am I even saying now? Somehow it turned into a sad flashback....
I actually used more than a year to chase her last time, got rejected again and again and again and again but I just couldn't give up that time. Even though I always get reject but our action and relationship is really above friends. All the people around us always mistake us as a couple, and she always says NO! That... really hurt.... The only way for me to give up is after she get herself a boyfriend which is now her husband... Another few months to completely forget about her.. I mean of course there stuff happened within this period which I actually posted about it in this blog...
One of my mistake that time I used another girl to make myself to forget bout her... How? I tried to chase after this second love of mine while I still chasing the first love.. In the end I got my punishment so hard that this second love of mine found herself her boyfriend... All these punishment and karma I guess... This might be my reason why I couldn't find myself a person to love till now.. Always get rejected and always the girl I fall for there's others already reside in their heart...
I really don't know what am I even doing now... I'm afraid to fall for someone because it'll always end up this way... Which is why for the past 5 years I've been living a single life... I'm not like the other guys who carve for a girl... Their body.... I just.... want to love someone with all my might and hope that the one I'm in love accept my love....
Really what am I even saying? What am I even doing.... All these bullshit I post now.... I hope the next time when I read this post in the future, I can find myself my other half and laugh like shit and say " Wow! What am I even doing last time? HAHAHA!! " I really hope that day could come...
Well... I should stop whining and hope tomorrow will be a better day... I guess I can say it right here since no one will even want to read my blog... Well yeah since I don't let other read it except for her... Though I don't think she'll read it as well....
I love you , Suki.... I really do... If there's a chance for us to be together I would really cherish you and love you with all my heart... IF... There's a chance....
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Friday 4 August 2017
A diary for 4th August ( even though I just want to type )
Yo is Ryo here posting about my day.
Nothing much to post actually but I somehow kinda addicted of typing words..
Well anyway.
Had a sudden visit from the HQ again today, which really gave my team some big tension.
Attended a new SR training hosted by my supervisor AKA my friend who invited me into this OPPO company. Well people know each big company will always have politic stuff happen, people try to monopolize or trying to get even more power to rule other and stuff. Really this all happen in this company not joking. But I guess just doing stuff that I suppose to do won't give me any harm.
One thing really good about this position is I really have a lot of free time when is not peak time for us trainer. Why you ask? Because after the training we eat almost the whole day till we finish our work. But of course when is really busy I have to face my laptop for almost 8-9 hours for doing report and stuff.
I guess she hasn't read my blog yet cause I send her my blog address but she didn't ask or say anything bout it. Oh well. I kinda act too fast by suddenly asking her out for a date, who will thought she get shocked and her answer was " I'll see about it". Is this a rejection? Her kind way of rejecting. Haven't been in love for quite some time so I kinda dense in these kinda stuff nowadays. Well I eventually plan to confess no matter what's the outcome I mean hey! Getting reject AGAIN is one of people youth experience right? Even though this is my third rejection if she really does reject me. Of course I still hope I have a chance in this relationship.
Well is very short this time because is only a diary for today and my main purpose is still typing words from my laptop. Is this my new fetish? Wow a new discovering for myself!
Is time to stop and indulge myself with games! The next update might be next week cause I don't think I have much to write about weekend since I still have to work on the weekend.
Stay tuned and see you guys soon, ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Nothing much to post actually but I somehow kinda addicted of typing words..
Well anyway.
Had a sudden visit from the HQ again today, which really gave my team some big tension.
Attended a new SR training hosted by my supervisor AKA my friend who invited me into this OPPO company. Well people know each big company will always have politic stuff happen, people try to monopolize or trying to get even more power to rule other and stuff. Really this all happen in this company not joking. But I guess just doing stuff that I suppose to do won't give me any harm.
One thing really good about this position is I really have a lot of free time when is not peak time for us trainer. Why you ask? Because after the training we eat almost the whole day till we finish our work. But of course when is really busy I have to face my laptop for almost 8-9 hours for doing report and stuff.
I guess she hasn't read my blog yet cause I send her my blog address but she didn't ask or say anything bout it. Oh well. I kinda act too fast by suddenly asking her out for a date, who will thought she get shocked and her answer was " I'll see about it". Is this a rejection? Her kind way of rejecting. Haven't been in love for quite some time so I kinda dense in these kinda stuff nowadays. Well I eventually plan to confess no matter what's the outcome I mean hey! Getting reject AGAIN is one of people youth experience right? Even though this is my third rejection if she really does reject me. Of course I still hope I have a chance in this relationship.
Well is very short this time because is only a diary for today and my main purpose is still typing words from my laptop. Is this my new fetish? Wow a new discovering for myself!
Is time to stop and indulge myself with games! The next update might be next week cause I don't think I have much to write about weekend since I still have to work on the weekend.
Stay tuned and see you guys soon, ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
After Years of skipping shit
I really never even expect that I'll come back to write shit again.
Why you ask? Well maybe is because I read someone's life story I guess...
And man oh man after reading my past post I felt stupid to be honest, and I know after some time when I read this post I feel the same as now too..
But whatever man...
It's really been five years since I stop blogging, or just to write a life story of mine.
Just a lot of shit happened in this past five year, can't say my life is as bad as the person blog that I read just now, but.... maybe almost the same? I mean my own dad have affair outside, have a bunch of debt need to clear, even after he clear most of his big debt he still going for gambling. I guess luckily he didn't borrow from loan shark huh. Even though he keep on borrow from me or my sis... Mum also have "best friend" of her own, even though she call the "best friend" darling? Oh well, life is harsh. Even though mine is not a very complete family but I know there are even worst outside, so I really felt blessed.
I don't think I have a lot of shit to write to cover up these past five years I mean, is just some daily plain life. What else had change bout me? Being a even addicted otaku. Hey! I own TWO dakis now! Isn't that enough to call me an otaku!? And two glass cabinet fulls of figures, no more collecting Gundam because it's too troublesome to build it, or lazy to be precise. I guess time really can change a people huh. Change my job after six years working in the same company. Is bored in that company, I have nothing else to learn anymore there. Thanks to my friend he pull me out from the comfort zone of mine and I'm here learning new stuff such as how to manage others and how to create fake data... But I know I won't stay here long because it really doesn't suit me, I mean how this job makes me skip my church for three months.
Speaking of going to church, I become a more faithful servant than the past me, because of one time when my pastor prayed for me, I know the Lord Jesus is a living God, he knew what's inside me, what's my need. That's why from that moment on I will try to go to church every Sunday, unless there are special event such as anime festival. (I'm sorry Jesus...)
Anime festival... Time really change me a lot, from last time how I always exciting to go for those event to not that expecting to go unless there're artist I wanted to see. I mean, is always the same there. I myself not a talkative guy so I can't really make friends there, unlike one of my friend Sam. He can make friends anywhere, even girlfriend now he has. I'm really happy for him, really! Just that... whenever we meet up nowadays whatever he said is "she, she, she..." to be honest it an become quite annoying if you keep on listen to the same thing... I'm sorry Sam for avoiding you nowadays, but I will find you again one day.
And making a new friend, Liang Yi which we are very close I guess, I mean we even bought ticket to Japan for this December! Yay! Japan! Comiket! Akiba! Everything is bout anime and of course my dream country to go! I really admire him, he has a lot of work and life experience even though he's only two years older than me. And he always gives me advice whenever I'm lost sometime. And a friend from Japan which is studying here in Malaysia now, Takaishi Ryutarou. Is all thanks to Sam I know these guys, so I'm kinda felt bad to for boycotting you nowadays. But i will find a solution for this, cause this can't last forever right....
Love story? 25 years of living couldn't even get a girlfriend my gosh. I don't know should I laugh or cry bout this. Sometime I still dream bout her, I'm sure I'd let her go, she even got married and gave birth twice, or thrice from what I heard from others. That's why I just don't understand why I still dream of her sometime. Then fell for Irene again but well.... got rejected again because he heart still have Julian which is her ex boyfriend, even make her mad when she's not a person who will get mad easily. Now fall for my colleague which have just left this company three days ago. I write this blog again is because I read her blog. But somehow her heart fills with another guy, which mean even I confess she will reject me as well I'm sure. Sigh.... how come my love life is always this miserable... Every time I fall for a girl which their heart fills with another guy. I know they are not meant for me, my time has not come yet, but really... when can I get a girlfriend for myself? But I think I will still confess to her one day, I'm ready to get hurt again but hey, at least I confess right? This is youth, is a life we must go through when we're still young! Heartbroken moment. Just that I don't know how much heartbroken moment I still have to experience....
Ahhhhh!!!! What am I even writing or thinking!!?? This post will eventually read by her I think because since she shared her blog to mine, as a fair and equal treatment I should share mine to her too right? Single life is good but sometime when you're single for too long you somehow will want to taste the life of being with the one you love. But still getting a girlfriend is not easy since my family will be facing problem from time to time. I don't know man I can only say I'l try to get that girl heart this time. If I fail I can only say she's not meant for me either...
Whoops, I write too much this time. Since is a post that cover for five years what do you expect? Friends got married and have their own family. Some friend got totally lost contact. Some friend which we used to always hang out together to seldom meet up. This is all life I must say, life that make us grow. And when we look back, is all memories we don't even care if is once sweet or bitter.
Time to stop writing shit I guess. I don't know when will be the next time I post shit again but whatever right. No one will see all this shit except myself and the current girl I like (If she wants to read it of course)
Good night! Ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
Why you ask? Well maybe is because I read someone's life story I guess...
And man oh man after reading my past post I felt stupid to be honest, and I know after some time when I read this post I feel the same as now too..
But whatever man...
It's really been five years since I stop blogging, or just to write a life story of mine.
Just a lot of shit happened in this past five year, can't say my life is as bad as the person blog that I read just now, but.... maybe almost the same? I mean my own dad have affair outside, have a bunch of debt need to clear, even after he clear most of his big debt he still going for gambling. I guess luckily he didn't borrow from loan shark huh. Even though he keep on borrow from me or my sis... Mum also have "best friend" of her own, even though she call the "best friend" darling? Oh well, life is harsh. Even though mine is not a very complete family but I know there are even worst outside, so I really felt blessed.
I don't think I have a lot of shit to write to cover up these past five years I mean, is just some daily plain life. What else had change bout me? Being a even addicted otaku. Hey! I own TWO dakis now! Isn't that enough to call me an otaku!? And two glass cabinet fulls of figures, no more collecting Gundam because it's too troublesome to build it, or lazy to be precise. I guess time really can change a people huh. Change my job after six years working in the same company. Is bored in that company, I have nothing else to learn anymore there. Thanks to my friend he pull me out from the comfort zone of mine and I'm here learning new stuff such as how to manage others and how to create fake data... But I know I won't stay here long because it really doesn't suit me, I mean how this job makes me skip my church for three months.
Speaking of going to church, I become a more faithful servant than the past me, because of one time when my pastor prayed for me, I know the Lord Jesus is a living God, he knew what's inside me, what's my need. That's why from that moment on I will try to go to church every Sunday, unless there are special event such as anime festival. (I'm sorry Jesus...)
Anime festival... Time really change me a lot, from last time how I always exciting to go for those event to not that expecting to go unless there're artist I wanted to see. I mean, is always the same there. I myself not a talkative guy so I can't really make friends there, unlike one of my friend Sam. He can make friends anywhere, even girlfriend now he has. I'm really happy for him, really! Just that... whenever we meet up nowadays whatever he said is "she, she, she..." to be honest it an become quite annoying if you keep on listen to the same thing... I'm sorry Sam for avoiding you nowadays, but I will find you again one day.
And making a new friend, Liang Yi which we are very close I guess, I mean we even bought ticket to Japan for this December! Yay! Japan! Comiket! Akiba! Everything is bout anime and of course my dream country to go! I really admire him, he has a lot of work and life experience even though he's only two years older than me. And he always gives me advice whenever I'm lost sometime. And a friend from Japan which is studying here in Malaysia now, Takaishi Ryutarou. Is all thanks to Sam I know these guys, so I'm kinda felt bad to for boycotting you nowadays. But i will find a solution for this, cause this can't last forever right....
Love story? 25 years of living couldn't even get a girlfriend my gosh. I don't know should I laugh or cry bout this. Sometime I still dream bout her, I'm sure I'd let her go, she even got married and gave birth twice, or thrice from what I heard from others. That's why I just don't understand why I still dream of her sometime. Then fell for Irene again but well.... got rejected again because he heart still have Julian which is her ex boyfriend, even make her mad when she's not a person who will get mad easily. Now fall for my colleague which have just left this company three days ago. I write this blog again is because I read her blog. But somehow her heart fills with another guy, which mean even I confess she will reject me as well I'm sure. Sigh.... how come my love life is always this miserable... Every time I fall for a girl which their heart fills with another guy. I know they are not meant for me, my time has not come yet, but really... when can I get a girlfriend for myself? But I think I will still confess to her one day, I'm ready to get hurt again but hey, at least I confess right? This is youth, is a life we must go through when we're still young! Heartbroken moment. Just that I don't know how much heartbroken moment I still have to experience....
Ahhhhh!!!! What am I even writing or thinking!!?? This post will eventually read by her I think because since she shared her blog to mine, as a fair and equal treatment I should share mine to her too right? Single life is good but sometime when you're single for too long you somehow will want to taste the life of being with the one you love. But still getting a girlfriend is not easy since my family will be facing problem from time to time. I don't know man I can only say I'l try to get that girl heart this time. If I fail I can only say she's not meant for me either...
Whoops, I write too much this time. Since is a post that cover for five years what do you expect? Friends got married and have their own family. Some friend got totally lost contact. Some friend which we used to always hang out together to seldom meet up. This is all life I must say, life that make us grow. And when we look back, is all memories we don't even care if is once sweet or bitter.
Time to stop writing shit I guess. I don't know when will be the next time I post shit again but whatever right. No one will see all this shit except myself and the current girl I like (If she wants to read it of course)
Good night! Ciao!
それじゃ～～
また後ぜ～～
世界を平和でありますようにぜ～～
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